Yoof! A critical look back at a history of discontent

All the hope for the current crop of academy players should include a disclaimer: Players unlikely to succeed at top level.

We’ve seen so many came and go and its asking for a miracle, an epic fluke (akin to what Man Utd had with their group of kids in the mid-90’s) to find yourself seeing more than three of our kids making the first team and then international football.

Our development has been crap, no question. The moment we do see a reserve player promoted, we automatically believe they will be a major success. Instead, they turn out to be shit. The problem is that because some of them are homebred and come through the youth and reserve teams there’s a hope they will achieve greatness because out of desperation we want someone to come through the ranks.

Here are several reminders of why we should not get too excited just yet:

Nick Barmby

Tottenham’s and England’s answer to Peter Beardsley, without the burden of that face and hunchback. Has had an ok career without ever excelling. Left Spurs because he wanted to return to the North of England. As a young lad looked exceptional, but hardly set the world on fire. Now at Hull and could be playing Prem football again next season if they overcome Bristol City.

Andy Turner

Could dribble a little. That’s about it.

Darren Caskey

A perfect example of how under 18’s don’t always continue to progress onwards and upwards. He kept Scholes out of most of the junior England sides. An England U18 Captain. Never anything more than that.

S*l Campbell

The one success we have stabs us in the back.

Ian Walker

Another player that fooled his way into the England set-up. Became a liability much like Robinson has become. Anyone who smiles when they’ve conceded a goal can’t be trusted.

Stephen Carr

Left Spurs to go to Newcastle for European football. Genius. Great going forward, not so great defending. People remember that goal against Man Utd. The thing is, when all you can do is remember the odd goal that usually means they did fuck all else.

Steffen Iversen

Klinsmann once said he was the new Klinsmann. Footballers are a bunch of piss-takers at the best of times. Never once showed any suggestion of progressing yet we all just sat about and waited for him to become a decent player.

Jonathan Blondel

A bit of a lightweight, but here’s the problem. Blondel had talent. Nowhere near the level some Spurs fans and Pleat would have you know. But the club completely mis-managed the lad. Hardly played, when he did it was out of position. He managed to escape. Has apparently turned into a half-decen player. Strong (looks like he beefed up) and with an excellent range of passing. All it took was for him to fly out of N17.

Reto Ziegler

Looked quite good on occasions but obviously must have flattered to deceive as whatever he was doing on the training pitch led to him being dropped, loaned out and sold. Was 18 when he went straight into the team. Cue plenty of ‘WORLD CLASS’ comments and other ridiculous statements.

Johnnie Jackson

Jackson for England indeed. Perfect example of how mediocrity at the club blinds the supporters to the truth. Jackson was shit. No fault of his own for being selected but he is a Championship player at best. And that’s been well proven since his departure. This is the typical standard of ‘quality’ we produce.

Dean Marney

Scoring two goals in that game against Everton more or less acted like several nails in the coffin. He was a bit beefy therefore we got the Gascoigne comparisons. Or maybe that was Mark Yates. I forget. Marney again is an example of players we produce that are not good enough for the first team yet we stick them in it.

Doesn’t make great reading.