The autopsy of a monster
Context. Brighton haven't won at home this season. They haven't won at home for seven months. They were 1 win 11 before the visit of Tottenham Hotspur.
Spurs have no Harry Kane (thankfully, supposedly back in two weeks). 1 clean sheet in 8. Serge was dropped completely from the squad after the alleged dressing room bustup in the Liverpool game. Dier dropped to the bench. Toby and Rodon the centrebacks. Bale starting, Vinicius not starting. Formation looking like a 3-4-3 with Sissoko as a right wing back.
My headspace pre-match? It was decent. I was sat in preparation for a reaction from the players. I took a look at social media and had a sly little pop at everyone's negativity. You know how I feel about this ilk of behaviour. I'm superstitious. If you wish the worse you tend to get it 'cause it's what your attitude deserves. There's no actual scientific correlation between the two things, especially right now where there are no supporters in attendance. And yet still, it seems that the team and the fanbase are reflective of each other. Like looking into a mirror when you've just taken a tab of LSD. It's you, but it isn't. It's all distorted and it feels like you're staring at the very essence of your soul. And you don't like what you see.
Now you also know that I'm an eternal optimist and I have backed Jose Mourinho. I have accepted certain identity deformities because looks are only skin deep. It's what exists inside that matters. And right now, there is nothing but disease rushing through our veins and polluting our organs. Spurs are a monster. But not the type that scares people. The ugly form that has us pointing at with disgust. Pitchforks and torches at the ready.
The surgery has gone wrong. The heartbeat is barely thumping. The body bag is ready to be filled.
Tottenham have flatlined.
We're ded.
And now I'm stood over the lifeless shell of a football team ready to carve it open. This autopsy is about to stink the place out.
What in the actual f**k happened at Brighton?
I've seen some abject performances in my time but this lacked the very essence of basic botheredness. It was an abysmal mess of nothingness. How? Why? Someone explain this to me? Was this always the destination? To burn out mentally? To hit a brick wall miles away from the finish line that Mourinho was meant to guide us to. Or is the reason, behind our sudden death, evidence that Jose was never going to fix us because he's inherited a broken squad that can't produce the goods?
Or is Jose simply not wired to fix it up because of his stubbornness to a philopshy that will not work at Spurs?
Suddenly, all our doubts have been amplified tenfold. All the little suspicions have reared their ugly heads.
Or am I knee-jerking? Exaggerating? Are we weak and unaccepting only because of the lack of entertainment? But we've seen this before, right? Under Graham. Under Ramos. Under Villas-Boas.
My head is spinning faster than a peak Scott Parker.
There was a lack of desire and tempo. No spark and zero energy. This looked like a set of players that simply did no want to perform. Mourinho spoke after the game that the team started 'sad'. What in the actual WHAT? Sad? Because why exactly? Why are we feeling sorry for ourselves? Where's the leadership in the dressing room, on the pitch? The battle cry? The want to pull ourselves up from the ground, dust ourselves off and rush onto the field like warriors? For the love of the shirt; where is the passion and the concentrated focus to live up the expectations that have us believing the players care?
We were title contenders a couple of months back. Obviously only in my own head.
1-0 down and deservedly so. Spurs persisted with a high line, pressed and yet accommodated Brighton with wide open spaces in front of our defence. It was disorganised and naïve and lazy. At half-time I wanted a reaction. I had gone from being calm pre-match to ever so slightly foaming at the mouth. I wanted a reaction from the manager and the players. I hate seeing us like this, lacking heart. I want the best for this team, for my club. Football is about confidence but winning is for leaders.
Dig deep, play for the crest.
I was pumped up.
DO SOMETHING YOU PR*CKS.
Vini came on for Sanchez but even with a slightly more formed shape from midfield to attack, it still all appeared lame and limp with output. Lucas came on for Bale. We had more of the ball but it was more BTEC than Master Degree. No Harry Kane and we fall apart.
Our second shot in the half came in the 65th minute. Then Ndombele went off slightly bruised, for Lamela. Son had a half decent effort and Vini gave us the best opportunity of the game (saved superbly). And suddenly there was urgency, literally towards the end of the game. Yet it was Brighton that should have scored a second had it not been for a miraculous block from Toby.
Then it ended. Thank God it ended.
Diabolical.
I switched the footie off and fired up the PlayStation and proceeded to zone out killing zombies with a knife and a semi-automatic weapon. This felt positively zen compared to watching Tottenham. Chopping heads off and stabbing the undead in the back. The grotesque murdering was not really any different from watching a Spurs no-show.
Spurs are broken and they have managed to break me.
And yet the reality of the situation will force us to see this through. Perhaps again because there are no supporters present to witness this spiritual collapse. Danie Levy won't make a change right now. Jose has (what) two and a half years left on £15M per season. He's in a Cup Final and still in two other competitions. Yes, he's been backed in the transfer market and yes, even if this is still the backbone of an inherited side, it's still too early to reboot. The players do, however, have to switch back on again.
Arguably, they looked like they could not be bothered to play for their manager. If true, then Levy is going to have a costly month or so ahead of him. Otherwise, the brutality of the situation would suggest that if Spurs were playing pretty football but ultimately still losing - would we still want the manager sacked?
What has ruined most of our personal headspace is the narrative that Mourinho wins things quickly at every club he's at regardless of what follows. And the original expectation was that he was brought in to do just that, with the deflated side Pochettino left behind. That might still happen. My word do I pray that happens. But there's no evidence of consistency it will.
From my personal perspective, I was willing to sacrifice a bit of identity to see us forge a new mantra, instil a new edge and mentality - to get us ready to achieve that last step we've so often stumbled over.
And now?
We look in need for something new. The question is, do we need a new surgeon or do we persist with what many fans believe to be Dr Frankenstein.
Spurs are on the slab waiting for reanimation. The bolts need to be screwed on tighter otherwise all the parts are going to fall off. Life needs to be rejuvenated otherwise there's no getting way from the pitchforks.