The problems at Spurs can't be blamed on a single individual. It's a responsibility shared. From chairman, to manager to players. We over-achieved magnificently. We pushed beyond our capacity. Then we imploded. Slowly, over a period of months, perfectly illustrated by our away form going from gold to dust. We broke ourselves. Don't want it to end this way. But it's ending this way.

I believed there was hope in there to salvage something. Respect between Poch and the players he reinvented. The culture, the winning mentality. It's all down to his philosophy and the changes he made. Football cares about the romance but it craves the brutality of cycles ending.

It's circumstance. Turns out the long term constantly needs a short term refresh. We have practically abused Poch rather than support him. There is so much one man can do with the constraints he agreed to work within. But then, he agreed to those constraints. Up until a point. His discouraging comments during the summer and pre-season could now be perceived as a manager that wanted an overhaul and didn’t get one.

His head went after the CL final. That was the true finale. The ending we all wanted. Even in the failure, he could have left. But guessing money stopped him from walking.

The dynamic, the fabled togetherness, synergy. It's gone. The magic has gone.

Football is amazing when it's great and I can't think of much that causes so much internalising and emotional theorising (other than good drugs). Poch gave us a platform, a foundation. We're going to need that transition to happen with no sentiment holding us back.

The biggest f*ckery is the overhaul might take 2/3 seasons. Watch how a new coach changes the dynamic like a new girlfriend makes you forget about the old one. Guess this current relationship is dead. Pretending we can make it work, sleeping in separate beds, is the illusion cursing us all.

But let's not pretend the sex we had with the old girlfriend wasn't amazing. It was. The best. I might even have to think about it when the new one is showing us tricks between the sheets. This is still an analogy by the way.

Then Poch in the post-match still persists in displaying desire to fix things. To make it work. But how can you possibly do this when the Spurs players are only interested in missionary whilst Poch wants tantric and all we get is a shafting by doggy style?

Still an analogy. Just about.

I’m in too much pain to write anything more. For now.

I can’t give up. F*ck. I’m not giving up. I just can’t do it.