Into the hellmouth

The summer is upon us and even though the weather can only muster up short bursts of sunshine one thing that is certain to burn our eyeballs is the relentless desire to read sports websites, blogs, newspapers and media outlets for rumours and conjecture until something concrete finally transpires so they can report actual facts. Rather than report on a projection of it they've made up. I know what some of you might say. Nobody really knows anything until it happens thanks to the nature of brinkmanship, kidology, agent deflection, leaked info and the rest. It's all part of the game, all part of driving a price up. But the vast majority of it is just bullsh*t engineered for traffic hits and personal agendas to those with pen in hand.

The fact that I'm once again here discussing this doesn't mean I'm about to go on another anti-journalistic-establishment rant. We all know how this works. It's the same dance every time, two left-feet and plenty of stamping and tripping over. It is what it is. The only way to deal with the insanity is to avoid trying to pick out any of the rare sane news items that might exist in the melting pot. What will happen will happen and it doesn't really matter or impact anything if you happen to know something that might happen before it actually plays out (my seasonal party political line for matters of transfer interest).


The only way to deal with the insanity is to laugh along with it. Take Liverpool supporters who seem to genuinely believe that Daniel Levy and Spurs wait until someone publishes an article in the tabloids about the Anfield club's interest in a player before swooping in to bid for them. Or how easy it is to opt out of the fact that Real Madrid have their club presidential elections which is usually the time for each candidate to cite X player signing promise to make sure they get the votes. The new 'twist' is Barcelona's capture of Neymar applying pressure on Real Madrid to follow through with a <insert a recording breaking figure of money here> bid.

There is no story in a player not looking to move club. That only interests the club supporters of the player wishing to stay and how is that appealing to the wider audience?

It's best to sit back, wait then laugh in the face of everyone when Gareth Bale doesn't leave (jinxed it) and Tottenham look to build towards the impossible task of finishing above the 20 point gap between us and 4th spot (it was 20 points, right?)

Now I'm not going to pretend not to show any signs of concern if we're a month away from the start of the 2014 season and nothing concrete has happened. The true insanity of the window isn't the bullsh*t printed in the newspapers, it's the panic of anticipation we supporters have when what we hope will happen doesn't happen. The strangulation of that hope we were only touchingly embracing moments earlier.

My hope rests with Andre Villas-Boas and the chairman. The only news of any relevance is the news published on the official website when a deal has been struck. Hopefully we'll see three or four or more such articles go live between now and the start of next season.

Until then I'll continue to point and laugh and shrug and hopefully catch a bit of colour from the sun. If it plans to arrive any time soon and sustain its bright glorious rays in the daytime sky. Knowing our luck we'll probably see nothing for months then get a heatwave on the final day of the summer.