It's not going to happen, is it?

Tuesday will be manic. Deadline transfer day. If you're Harry Redknapp, there's plenty of movement from court room to White Hart Lane and then a potential post-match pizza with the chairman whilst we try to tie up several deals before the 11pm deadline. Following on from three points against Wigan of course, which would probably be the most vital of captures made on the last day of January.

In a world of fantasy, where consolidation rains down from the heavens we'll be negotiating for a centre-back (does Khumalo still exist?), a right-winger who can drift in centrally when applicable to tactical reshuffles (we lack width when first team flankers are missing) and also a new forward to complement Adebayor and Defoe (with Roman leaving the club to make way for the new arrival).

We've got room to squeeze all that in haven't we? Harry might even get home in time to walk the dog.

Signing the Milky Bar Kid doesn't count.

It's the 30th of the month. Carroll (Derby) and Bostock (Wednesday) have gone out on loan. And that's just about it. Hand on heart, the apocalypse is more likely before we see dos Santos and friends leave the Lodge (friends being the likes of Bassong and anyone else you believe to be surplus to requirements).

We've spoken about the necessity to bolster the squad to make sure there's that extra bit of something in there to spark us through the month of February, yet reality also lays the smack down and reminds us that pragmatics are far more forthcoming. Harry and his uncertain future might be effecting our transfer strategy. The chairman might prefer to take a gamble on what we've got, to avoid making any knee-jerk signings. Although quite how signing another forward would constitute a knee-jerk I don't know. What I do know is, there appears to be a complete lack of tangible targets if you wish to listen to the rumours.

If anything happens, it will either be a wonderful surprise to those nervously biting their nails anxious and desperate for something, anything to play out. Or we're in for another moment of golden opportunistic transfer genius. Possibly signing Cuthbert van der Vaart, Rafa's lesser known brother who also plays in the hole behind the lone forward but unlike his famous sibling can't last up to the 70th minute mark and has to be subbed around the 55th minute due to a phobia of the number sixty and his subsequent narcoleptic condition.

In the mean time Sky Sports News are panicking massively as they attempt to work out how best to get a cheeky update interview from Harry on potential transfers as there is zero chance of anyone being anywhere near the Lodge due to the game at the lane. A drivers seat window can hardly be fitted into the Spurs dugout. Of course, what with the game falling on the 31st of Jan we might find ourselves marvelling at a new signing taking to the field at half time, announced over the tannoy or better still via Levy with mic from the directors box presenting the return of Jonathan Blondel.

Best to just concern ourselves with the football. Wigan. Bottom of the table. They have been utterly smashed about in recent weeks. Let's respect the trend. With the disappoints of recent weeks, it's time to saddle up and ride momentum with a nifty gallop and scream. We've got a sunset to get to.