That was the week that was

So, according to Harry we need a goal-scoring midfielder like Lampard. No shit. That's why we tried our utmost to sign one in the last transfer window and ended up with Kaboul.


Pav is once more mouthing off. Although it's tiresome, it's equally so to hear Redknapp bang on about the player as though he was an integral part of the squad and yet hardly ever gets a chance, forever warming the bench. Okay, so it's doubtful he's even half the player we wished he would be based on what we've seen, but considering we've seen very little its impossible to truly gauge if he could possibly fit into the side. Perhaps he should turn up to training on a pogo-stick. If he did he'll be a shoe-in to partner JD.

Lawro is predicating us to lose away on Sunday. Looking at the state of their pitch I wouldn't be surprised, considering we struggle to score on grass that's green Christ only knows how we plan to play on the savaged mud marshes of Wigan. We tonked them 9-1 and since that day we've managed to lose our mojo which has seen us hiccup our way to where we are now. Still within touching distance. So perhaps rather than attempting to turn it on like Brazil 1970, we should simply be forced to dig deep and win. Otherwise we sink in the mud taking any hope of 4th down with us. Maybe Harry can mix it up a little with some long balls.

/tumbleweed coming through again

Still on the subject of Lawro and his opinions, he's apparently been telling everyone that Theo Walcott has to go to the World Cup. What the same player who's always injured and hardly does anything other than working on looking and acting like a glossed over arrogant twat so people can lay claim that he's possibly the next Henry? That Theo? Yeah, okay Lawro. Let's take someone to the World Cup based on potential. Jenas, if you're reading this, pack your suitcase.  If he (Theo) played for anyone other than Arsenal, he'd be out on loan to a Championship club right about now. Pace with no direction, and no end product. But he looks good with facial hair, so it's not all bad.

Carlton Cole to Spurs. Yep. When you thought it was safe to browse through the seedy underbelly of the internet (Spurs message boards) the ITK's are saying this is done and dusted for August. Rivaldo  also scheduled to finally complete his medical and sign for Spurs this summer.

Talking of West Ham, can I just say congratulations to Terry Dixon who has been called up to the Eire U21 squad. Two years out with a serious injury at a critical stage of his development, Spurs were amazingly patient, working to get him back to fitness - but then advised by specialists that he would have to retire. If any Irons are reading this, please get in touch. Would like to know how well he's doing in reserve team football. Considering Dixon was told he would never play professional football after his continued injury problems, I'm chuffed for the lad who seems to have unlimited determination and fight in him. Of course, he probably won't be half the player he was on course to becoming, but the kid is earning a living from kicking a ball, so that deserves a massive round of applause.

Seriously though. Carlton Cole?

Devastated to hear this week that Darren Bent has quit Twitter to concentrate on aiding Sunderland out of their slump. No, seriously, heart-broken. He's scored 16 goals this season so not sure how logging onto the internet and typing one sentence messages can quite possibly distract him from what happens out on the training pitch and during games. Obviously it doesn't because he's been scoring plenty. Perhaps the gap left in the world wide web can be filled by Peter Crouch. Would love to read his tweets about waking up next to Abbey Clancy.  Every morning. Does she wear panties in bed? PJs? Or perhaps just Chanel No5? I think these are important and vital questions. Questions that require answers (with accompanying photos for definitive clarity).

Final word saved for the enemy. Excellent back-pass, expertly touched with toe. Instinctive pick-up by the keeper. Superb release of the ball to the opposition and additional groan towards the linesman. Quick free-kick taken. Inspired blocking of the defender by the ref. Clever goal scored. Perfectly legal. Magical spasm on the touchline. David Lynch scripted excuse from the manager. Made me laugh out loud. With all the depression relating to our current dip in form, it's nice of them to provide everyone with a bit of comedy. Good work fellas. Keep it up.