The Stupendous Adventures of Bale and Bentley
At the Spurs Lodge...
Gareth: You okay David?
David: I'm busy, not now
Gareth: Busy? But all you're doing is...
David: I said I'm busy, can you not see I'm busy?
Gareth: I just wanted to say hi
David: Well you said it, can you leave me alone now please? I need to concentrate
Gareth: I was thinking, if you wanted to come round my gaff, you know, watch my dvd collection of my best Spurs performances and goals
David: I said I'm busy, I haven't got time to waste
Gareth: Do you want to...talk about it?
David: Talk about what? I'm working my socks off here to try and claw back some credibility
David: Yes, you know, the stuff you now have in abundance what with your good form and being linked with Madrid every other day
Gareth: How exactly is...this...going to help?
David: You're joking right? Sky Sports will be here any second now
Gareth: You don't think perhaps training harder and playing focused disciplined football on the pitch will help you more?
David: (looks beyond Gareth) They're here ! They're here ! Sky are here ! I'm saved ! This is the turning point ! I'm back baby, I'm back ! Stick your left-peg where the sun don't shine Welshie ! The Bentley is about to drive his way back to the top !
Later that day...
Jim White: This is Sky Sports News, stay tuned for exclusive footage of David Bentley naked star-jumping in a skip on top of a crashed Porsche playing keepy-uppy with his right foot on fire whilst drinking a can of Red Bull. Just another hard days training for the Spurs midfield star