The next 'big name signing'?

Stupendous day. If you're in central London, hop onto one of those open bus tourist tours and have yourself a parade. Pennant has gone to La Liga. I haven't cried since that Gazza yellow card in Italia '90, but have no shame in admitting I shed a tear when I read that the arrogant and over-hyped, ex-scum 'wonder-kid' had agreed to join Real Zaragoza. If we struggled to get an in-form winger (Bentley) to work in the team, what chance an inconsistent petulant prick?

The ITK community had us along with a couple of Italian clubs interested and that it was a done deal for him to sign for Harry once we got rid of Bentley. It's like these attention-seekers are playing a grand version of connect-the-dots with one dot in London and the other next closest dot somewhere hidden in the depths of the Eagle Nebula.

I'm actually a lot calmer now with all this incoming outgoing transfer circus. I've re-discovered patience and also some respect for our esteemed chairman for standing firm with Sevilla over the Zokora saga and bagging and alleged £8.65M (although we did pay them a bundle for the Ramos compensation). Bent's long running 'will he won't he' be the next Spurs player to make the trip up to Sunderland looks like coming to a happy conclusion with us finally agreeing a fee. It's not going to be anywhere near the £16M we paid for him. No doubt this will result with day long street parties in the East End. For us, it means more money in the kitty as we look towards bringing in a new forward.

Carew from Villa is the man marked by all. Big, strong, great at holding up the ball. All ingredients that Harry likes and we need. Might not be prolific or the best natural finisher - but alongside Defoe, it might just work. He won't cost too much, but as a consequence of the club he plays for currently and the fact we just sold Zokora - Nigel Reo-Coker might become part of the package.

The irony is not lost on me. From one 'Do do do' to another. Excuse the pun, but for the love of God…do one. Carew, I can live with if he's cheap. I'd much prefer a younger player with bags of potential and a proven record. But if things are tricky in the transfer market (which they are) then we need to be a little shrewd. Reo-Coker isn't shrewd. It's a mistake.

Talking of mistakes, did anyone see a story about Birmingham chasing a certain Inter player? Tabloids linking him to a return to the Prem. So what happens next? Cryptic messages start appearing on Spurs forums about how we are in for a player who - if signed - will make you laugh or cry.

Patrick Vieira? In Lilywhite? Sacrebleu!

I think I'm about to lose that calming feeling.