Robben's dad is not the Real problem

There are moments, dark moments, when we Spurs fans get a little too giddy for our own good. We forget where we are momentarily and start to drool uncontrollably, talking in tongue, blacking out and awaking to find a tattoo of the latest transfer target on our backside. We become delirious, confused and say and do things we don't mean just to feed an addiction. Cold turkey is not an option. We just need a really big fix to sort us out.

And it's happening again at the moment thanks to the Real Madrid second coming of the Galacticos. Several Dutch players are apparently surplus to requirement which obviously automatically means that we are going to be interested regardless of whether we actually are or not but in all likelihood we will be, because that's us. People can point and laugh at Spurs fans claiming we are not a big club but outside of the Top 4 (and I guess Man City) we can show an interest in players of a certain quality because there is a chance they may consider joining. If Levy sells the idea of joining a non-Champions League side to the player (which is a difficult task considering how we are the perpetual 'next season' club) then they are quite willing to sign on. Players of the quality of Modric and Berbatov, for example, have no issues signing for us. Both probably won't go anywhere near the rest of the non-Top 4 clubs (except for that pesky Eastland's club) and as seen by Berbatov, when they move on they move upwards. Modric, no doubt will do the same if we stagnate again.

We do have pulling power. The question is whether the players we are currently courting are willing to take a hefty vanity hit. Even if they seem to ignore the fact that for pure footballing reasons if we are offering them first team football then its surely better than earning millions sitting on the bench. But the delusion we suffer is that we assume that just because a player is suddenly available then Spurs must be their only viable destination and how dare they not join. Usually we are simply used as a tool in the bidding war the agents orchestrate. We are forever ambitious and I hope we always are. Not everyone is going to feel comfortable joining a club in a state of continued flux. At least not the high-end players who believe they've already made it big.

Levy is (or was or still is) out in Spain. Ruud was the first target, apparently now pushed aside for the younger version (Huntelaar) and Henize (hasn't been any good for a few years now) has been added to the must have list according to the ITKs, message board slaves to transfer news and the trustworthy tabloids.

The 'target' that is making us break out in a cold sweat is Arjen Robben. His dad, informing all, that his son will almost certainly not be joining Tottenham. Injuries aside, on form, he's an immense talent. Which is why some fans are drooling. But if you can't remember allow me to remind you that the last time he played at WHL he spent most of his time diving and falling over and deservedly getting abused for it. A detestable, insufferable little man.

It's at this point you might find yourself asking - who cares if he's a hate figure? All the top sides have two or three (Chelsea have 11), although that's probably by virtue of being successful. But to be a winner, shouldn't we be signing winners? Regardless if they are c***s? But I guess the fundamental problem is, why would a winner join a team of losers? Which is what we are in their eyes.

Ironically, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him join Man City much in the same way he joined Chelsea. Both us and City want the same things, but we can't afford to offer anyone 100K + a week. Seems our history means little, with it sitting in the distant past of the early 80's and the almost mythical black and white 60's.

Robben's dad (and the player) will see Spurs as a downwards step. The challenge of being part of (yet another) re-vamped side that has a remote chance of making it into the Champs League is way too much effort for players who believe to be at the top of their game. You can't blame them. For the money they are on, why take a pay cut or a status-drop? Unless nobody else out there wants to take a gamble - which means that if Spurs are the only interested party then the player would need to decide on whether Madrid on the bench is still a better option than Spurs fighting for 5th spot. Fact is, players - in the modern game - are bigger than the clubs they play for. At least in their heads they are. It's a subjective argument this, but nobody can deny that in this day and age with football being fragmented the way it is, players have no patience. Why would they when they are offered riches to play for the biggest clubs in the world? Isn't that the whole point? People banged on about the G-14 and how it was going to have a detrimental effect on the game but the Champions League (what we all hope to get our feet in) has made it nigh impossible to challenge domestically, let alone bully our way into the monopoly.

Christ, it's depressing.

Money wise, we can’t compete, but I guess scrapping the reserve team allows Levy a little more room to manoeuvre on the bargaining table with more money now available. Robben's dad might be saying what he's saying just make sure Spurs come back with a more beefy offer.

But after a hot drink, and the giddy shakes under control, reality bites.

It's great we are in for players of this ilk, even if some of the players are completely unlikeable. Robben is no doubt one of the best left-wingers on the planet. He's had problems at Madrid, possibly of a disruptive nature in the dressing room as he appears to have fallen out with one or two of the players there. But considering his quality, he's not going to help out a side that wants to be challenging for the Top 4. He'll wait for a side big and bad enough for him to make a bid that already sits with the elite.

But don't fret. There's always Downing.

One thing being underlined by all these verbal shenanigans played out in the press is that the supposed club insiders only claim to know what's happening behind the scenes only react with information after a development has been made known in the newspapers first. It's almost July, and nobody knows nothing. No big fix in sight. Maybe cold turkey is the only option. I need a distraction that won't pull me apart emotionally and have me worried about what way we might turn as we attempt to build-up on swagger in time for the next challenge that awaits us.

When do The Ashes start?

Oh, and in case I was too's time for a salary cap on player wages.