Football agents, what's the point?

Dennis Lachter. What a guy. Andry Arshavin has been in England for all of 5 minutes and already his agent is stirring up rumourwhorage with some quality quotes. Apparently, Arshavin is not completely happy at Arsenal and that Barcelona along with one or two other clubs are interested in the player. Has Dennis spunked his commission already? But regardless of the interest, Lachter states that his client will not be leaving due to the money forked out for him by Arsenal and the fact he’s only just signed.

No shit Sherlock.

If all this unnecessary nonsense wasn’t enough he then slates Arsenals ‘French diaspora’ and that Robin van Persie and Cesc Fabregas are jealous of the Russians popularity. Apparently AA has been subjected to some jokes at his expense and that he isn’t completely happy on the left.

Now look closer at everything that’s been said. You’ll note that nothing has actually been said. Of worth.

Not completely happy? Exaggeration. Probably a case of him preferring to play in his more natural position. But considering his goal ratio and assists tally, I’d hate to see what he’s capable of when he’s completely happy.

Team mates jealous? Yeah, because van Persie and Fabregas are completely ego-less, aren’t they? I'm surprised they've even noticed him.

French disapora? Irrelevant. Any player that ends up at Arsenal is Wengervised into a detestable git, so it won’t be long before Arshavin becomes another Borg in the collective. You only have to look how Theo Walcott has gone from a sparky smiling kid into a Henry-lite with the posturing and posing. Funny how Henry-senior out in Catalan country, far away from Wenger, now celebrates without the pompous moody expression.

Jokes? Part and parcel of the game. Although I guess he would be a little miffed considering the general lack of humour that anyone associated with Arsenal possesses.

Which begs the question why Lachter bothered to open his mouth in the first place. What is the point in attracting attention when your client has only just committed to a club, after failing to sign for any of the previous 5 or 6 dream clubs that he wanted to sign for? Wait at least a year before you start looking again.

I was massively massively disappointed when he eventually signed for Arsenal, as it meant Andrey had to cancel his follow-up as a guest blogger.

As for us not signing him in the summer, I guess our money was better spent elsewhere in the end.


Even so, it's rather entertaining to listen to this inane football agent try to justify his existence. All hail Paul Scholes! He knows the score.