The Respect Bobby Zamora Campaign

The Fulham fans (the ones that blog, evil lot they are) might not appreciate him but there is no denying Bobby Zamora is the real deal. He's the original Carlton Cole prototype. Clumsy? Sure, but undeniable and unplayable also. The clumsy stuff, that disguises the skill and intent. But unlike Cole, he's also got another devastating ingredient. Anger. A ton of anger. Plenty of fiery in your face have some of that anger. Bob has been inspiring for Fulham, taking himself to the next level of strikership. His goals are created purely from his presence in and around the box as though he wills the ball into an area where he can simply smack it in. He's practically telepathic. Brilliant player, has to travel to South Africa with England and without a doubt the most naturally gifted English forward from England currently playing in England.

The only way for Dawson and Bassong to stop this man is to shot him in the arse with a tranquilliser gun then drop a piano on him then dig a hole 100 feet deep and push him in and bury him in cement and then have Tony Soprano and his mob to crack open the cement, remove the body and then whack him with two bullets in the back of the head, dismember him into fifty different parts mailing them to fifty different countries around the world with instructions to boil the parts and then feed the soup to pigs. Wait for the pigs to digest the soup, slaughter the pigs and then turn them into bacon and serve the bacon as part of an all-English breakfast, with eggs beans, all that stuff, you know the drill, to Only Fools and Horses loving ex-pats who then go out on a bender and vomit their breakfast out into whatever street they're standing in and then let the rain wash it away into the drains where the rats then feed on the remaining chunks.

That won't stop Bob scoring a brace, but he'll probably fall short of notching up a hat-trick. Probably. Not guaranteed. It's Zamora. Who am I kidding? He'll endeavour and he'll come through the other side, letting you - yes you the ones who bemoan him behind the goal - exactly what he thinks. When you sit in row Z and the ball hits your head it's Zamora, and he meant it, because he was aiming for you, you mouthy over-critical Fulham blogging gits.

Respect him. Applaud him. The Z Man is back.

Fulham v Spurs match preview on its way (tomorrow probably).