Berbatov: The Saviour of Spurs?

If there is one diamond amongst all the coal, it surely has to be Dimitar Berbatov. Graceful, intelligent, wonderful vision and first touch and a supreme finisher. Oozes so much class that he greases his hair with it.

People had the cheek to mutter the name of Sergi Rebrov when we signed the beautiful Bulgarian.

"He's gonna flop!"
"£10M? You're 'aving a larf, could buy fifty Bobby Zamora's for that"
"Domonic Beersbarak? Probably struggle in the Prem", David Pleat remarked.

Berbs, at the Lodge earlier today

Yet it took him half a season to find his feet and turn into the talisman that this club has been on its knees begging for, begging like a crack whore who is willing to sell her mouth for $5.

A truly world class player. The first, arguably since the legendary Jurgen Klinsmann. And yet I find myself sick, sick to the very depths of my gut. Deja vu does that to me. The previous occassion I felt like this was last summer when we had the wool pulled over our eyes and lost Michael Carrick to Manchester United. Its a patented trick. One the chairman revels in. One he aims to achieve as often as possible to make sure those profit margins look good for Mr Lewis.

Club buys player.
Club allows player to show the world what he can do.
Club claims the player isn't going anywhere.
Club (in reality) doesn't do a thing to keep the player.
Player decides to move on.
Club sells player for 2 or 3 times the amount.
Club fails to replace the player.
Club stagnates.
Chairman builds a second indoor swimming pool.

Fact of the matter is, that with two games left in the season, Berbatov is already being linked with a move away from Spurs to Manchester United to play for a top 4 club (the Champions) in the Champions League. Not even a full season at our club and we're already on the verge of losing him. Look what happened when we sold Carrick. We bought Zokora. A player who has a woeful first touch and is only capable of running in a straight line with the ball (at speed) with no end result. That's like having Vinny Samways back at the club, but running towards the goal instead of permanently sideways. It's comedy that would only make it on prime time ITV.

Levy attending the last AGM

Levy hasn't built a team for the future. He has constructed a stepping stone, a feeder club for the bigger teams. We bring them in and let them go. And his bank account gets more beefy with each season.

And why shouldn't the 'star' players move on when the chairman does nothing to appease their talent? Underpaid and unappreciated by club, its left to the fans to adore and worship - in the end - a false God. For we know that when we watch Spurs in the present, we are watching Manchester United's future.

The £30M that Ferguson will pay for Berbatov will be the beginning of the end for the football club. I swear, as God as my witness, I will decimate Levy's power at the club. I've already pre-ordered several effigy's from a contact who got me a great deal from some fanatical (football fans I guess) who live out in Palestine. These will be burned in full view of the worlds media and watching Spurs fans, and will incite a chorus of 'SACK THE BOARD' at every home game, which will surely unnerve our playboy director.

Levy Effigy - Coming Soon to the Lane

In an ideal world, without Levy at the helm, we would avoid signing the likes of Berbatov in the first place, thus avoiding the abject deflation of losing a player we pin all our hopes on due to being starved of true class to once every ten years.

I've only cried once this year when Captain America was assassinated in Civil War: Epilogue (Captain America #25). I will shed a tear once more in a month or two when Dimitar holds up the red home shirt of Utd at Old Trafford with a grinning Alex by his side. But that tear will be followed by a flood of discontent. The effigy's are just for starters. I have t-shirts and glow-sticks (when positioned correctly by the right amount of people, it will spell out 'GO TO HELL LEVY'). The South Stand in an evening kick-off will never look so majestic.

I'm ready for war Levy. Are you?