Was thinking about where it all went wrong. For me that is. I'm self-absorbing the misery that has been 2015. Or rather the misery since a particular weekend. The League Cup final. Here's my timeline of hellish torment:
Watch Spurs lose to Chelsea at Wembley
Next day, get the beginnings of a virus with severe flu type symptoms
Proceed to be devastatingly ill for almost six weeks, including a whole week with no food or sleep and plentiful hallucinations
Lose a stone and some in weight, looking like Richard Ashcroft on Atkins
Missus then gets similar virus and is off work for three weeks
Merc driving woman crashes into my parked car when attempting to bay park
Car has since been written off
Trapped nerve in lower back (thanks to work day posture) leaves me walking like an 80 year old
That's one seriously poor run of form. I'm having a Soldado.
Thanks to the lacklustre football post cup final I've been mostly gaming and drinking in-between the rotten luck. I'm hoping things will start to pick up again soon although I'm not that fussed about having to comment about every single piece of alleged journalism linking us to the usual transfer suspects whilst pulling names out of a hat. We all know this is a huge summer for us, much like every other summer. Huge, bloated...it's all the same. Expectancy is our eternal crutch. Lots of questions, ambiguous answers. Never definitive, always an illusion.
We know where we currently sit. We're shifting uncomfortably in mediocrity. That's not necessarily a permanent state of play. It's where we find ourselves after exhausting this particular transition from former coach to current. Yes, Pochettino might have taken the job with the caveat he could work with the set of players we had but then chairman, director of football and previous coaches also thought they could work with them. On paper, anything is possible. In actuality, we've dismantled momentum and boxed it up in storage whilst attempting to find a working formula with numbers that just don't add up.
New backroom staff, new intelligence with player scouting and management - this is what I'm keen to see in the coming months. Will things change and feel like footballing decisions rather than exclusives for our business model?
Away from the field we're left waiting for complete and final transparency with the stadium development and the likely move away from the Lane (possibly to the home of the MK Dons) for up to two seasons. Add to it the continued whispers concerning ownership, with the hope that the devil we know is replaced with a devil we'll get to know...and we might find minimal time to rest on our sunbeds.
I'm optimistic that we'll be entertained. It's like Total Recall, having our minds momentarily wiped, enjoying the next THFC experience before waking up with disappointment then having our minds wiped again for the very same experience. Remember the hope and emotions after defeating Chelsea (in the league) and Arsenal? When something is good, everything you talk about and associate with it is also good. You're able to look ahead with confidence. We don't tend to ride that wave long enough. We should know better.