If Tottenham was pornography it would be the type that you find on digital subscriber channels. Hardcore edited to soft to escape slapped wrists (and personal injury) from broadcast regulators. Nothing explicit and no money-shot. You know it's happening you just can't see all the graphic details but there's enough there to leave you satisfied. It's sort of sexy in the same way a Victorian man would tremble at the sight of a naked ankle.
Read MoreIf the first half was a sexy woman wearing a raincoat and a paper bag over her head, the second half was the same woman minus the raincoat, in black lingerie teasing and flirting, leaving you with a wide smile splashed over your face at the conclusion of her dance. Okay, so I have a colourful and chequered past (which for the record doesn't include a paper bag fetish) involving lap dancing clubs. I'm also probably the only person comparing a game of football to a private dance. The fact is, there was happy ending. With the football. The football had a happy ending.
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