The flex nobody asked for
We are days out from a return to the Premier League.
/tumbleweed
Spurs lost in a behind closed doors friendly to Norwich - brilliantly reported by the Official Spurs website, which included a clinical description of the key moments but excluded an actual confirmation of the scoreline in print. 2020 gone fully 1984.
The score was 2-1 to Norwich.
Apparently, according to Toby, the player have all been in ‘beast mode’. Okay, Hoping they’ve yet to reach their final form. Praying their final form is akin to a boss in Dark Souls. Rather than a mushroom in Mario Brothers.
It wasn’t a proper game though was it? Some ilk of bubble-football, with the game split into quarters or something. I have to be honest, punditry wise, I could barley pay attention to the details. In the aftermath, a Norwich player tested positive for COVID-19. I expect this will be a common occurrence in the weeks ahead. I will march to Downing Street if Harry Kane has to self-isolate at any point during the remaining nine fixtures, falling to my knees like a shook Charlton Heston, looking up at the ruined remains of our campaign. You blew it up, you manics!
This coming Friday there’s another friendly, this one against Manchester United. A slightly more traditional ‘game of two halves’ but no spectators. It’s still a bubble-wrap version of football. Yadda yadda yadda. I’ve covered the disillusionment aplenty in previous blogs. The fact is, it’s back and regardless of how I feel about this forced conclusion on the unfinished season, at least I’ll have some source material to philosophise over.
Honestly, hand on heart, I’ll be content with a 30 yard screamer or a delicate chip after a silky passage of play. From Tottenham, not the opposition. That caveat is a requirement.
This lockdown, the pandemic and the protests and marches…it remains an extraordinary period in time. A generational flux that has to count for something more than just another social media narrative. I hope that culturally and political, things are not swept under the carpet. But with the football? I’d rather it was. In fact, it sort of has been.
In fact (analogy swap), what we’re about to experience might as well be us trudging through a swamp to get to the other side because the bridge is broken. Just get to the other side, doesn’t matter how dirty we get. We have the pre-season and next season proper to get cleaned up, reset and go again and do so with rejuvenated energy.
No Champions League? Okay, fine. Then go like the clappers in the domestic league. Anyways, this is a conversation for later in the year. For now, we have Jose Spurs v1.2 to dissect and deconstruct as we perhaps, accidentally pull a surprise out of the abyss.
Here is a little bit of lighthearted fluff, a preview of sorts for The Guardian / Observer. It was written earlier in the week. Slight err with the predictions for bottom three. The ‘ammers ought to be 18th not 20th. I wasn’t purposely trolling.
Or was I?
Arguably a slight err with my top four prediction for a certain little old footie club too.
The rumour that Lo Celso was injured, was thankfully just that. As a footnote, Tanguy is looking slim and not so shady. Expect more Guardian blurb as we work through the remaining exhibition games.
For now…
COYS yeah