That empty emotional hangover you've got is what pursuing success feels like
I’m not usually lost for words (to sribble down). I’ve been trying to work out what type of blog to write. Should I opt for the traditional ultra-positive and balanced ‘things are gonna be alright’ narrative or perhaps opt for a more existential cry for attention? I don’t want to dismantle the actual football either. You watched it. I watched it. We all watched it. It was alright. We played alright.
I mean, I didn’t expect anything other than classic Jose Mourinho and that’s what we got. We defended, soaked it up with the low block and countered. We even won the xG. We might have even won the game if it wasn’t for margins, inches. Slices of luck. But instead, they win it. Because they scored twice and we didn’t. They get all the three points and we slip back into putting the pressure on. For now at least. And perhaps that’s where we are best suited until we work out how to unlock and get past the final psychological barrier. Because you can’t rely on luck to win these games. You can’t just be intelligent c**ts you have to be supremely arrogance c-words too. You have to believe, the players, and they have to execute with ruthless pomp regardless of the badge on the chests of the rivals standing in our way. Don’t respect anyone, make them - force them - to respect us.
Would winning have changed much?
Not in the grand scheme of things. Sure, I’d still be smashed on rum right now, but other than that? Probably not. But yet, perhaps winning would have given us a future opportunity to prove it wasn’t a fluke and then we could go on and win again in the next game we might face where everyone is willing the opposition to claim victory. Because God forbid Spurs f**k sh*t up for the pundits and naysayers. There isn’t much between us and Liverpool, three points aside. Yet there remains a canyon of difference.
They’ve won the league and the Champions League. They have that mythical edge we desire. We don’t. We just continue to obsess and dream about having it. But we’re close. It isn’t an impossible conundrum to solve. The puzzle is there to get beat and we’re working things out. If Poch was an accidental hero then Jose is one benefiting from circumstance, inheriting a side that still has something to give. And Jose doesn’t care about sentiment. The ultimate sacrifice we have to make as supporters is accepting his methods and style of football.
Here’s the thing, beating Liverpool at Anfield would have been a grand gesture to all things Lilywhite, a consolidation of the progress being made rather than a suggestion that we have the finished article already. I don’t want to go too deep here because I’m already drafting another article about the Spurs psyche and the job at hand in repairing something, fixing something that doesn’t actually exist beyond suggestions and fallacies; that the winning mentality Spurs are chasing isn’t a reinvention - it’s something that has to be birthed, a new essence, a new way of being.
I’ve gone fully Woodstock, haven’t it?
I mean it though. We are trying to be something we have never been before. Not in modern times. This is a monumental task that is simplistic on paper (get good players, get better players, git gud) but in motion on the field, it’s collectively a huge undertaking. We’re not Liverpool, that expectancy and constant demand for success all of the time isn’t what Spurs culture has been forged from. And that makes the task the monument it is.
I guess, right now, the reason I’m lost for words or struggling a little bit is not because I’m gutted or angry. I’m just a bit p*ssed off that I’m still sat waiting for Spurs to make that dent, to make that difference. Even if it’s just in isolation. A moment. A single game. I mean, sure, we could say we’ve done it already this season when we beat United 6-1 at Old Trafford, but such is our ascendency in recent seasons, we expect more from our side. We need to win the Battles of the Bridge and the semi-finals and the crunch games.
This isn’t entitlement, we’ve grown up a bit. We’ve matured. We see the bigger picture. But there remains fragility. Not just within the fanbase but also the players that want to achieve things at Spurs. Perhaps there’s subtle desperation in amongst the battle cry.
Imagine that though; We expect more. This is where the discomfort presides. I’m a bit p*ssed off because we could have beaten them. I don’t want to say that’s progress or we should be super proud that plucky old Spurs almost go something out of the game because it’s glorifying defeat and that’s not what we’re about anymore. Mourinho won’t stand for it (even if he is proud, he’s playing his own game and is better left alone to do so).
Anyways, this blog isn’t going anywhere. I do wonder had we played with more of an assertive dimension from the off, would we have got something out of the game or would Liverpool have found the means to punish us, countering any expansiveness we offered? I wouldn’t mind seeing how a game like that pans out. Of course, I have accepted Jose and his cautious football because the whole is greater than the sum of its parts (in terms of results across a 38 game season).
The next game is important, mostly because we need to make a bit of a ‘we’re still here’ statement going into the Xmas period and thus applying ample pressure on Liverpool and hopefully consolidating our position over the teams below us.
That other article I’m drafting (which will be on Patreon - just deal with it, it’s the future), the crux of it concerns how much easier it is to enjoy football when your team is rubbish because you know what to expect and when you get a decent result, you love it even more. I’m not suggesting this is a better alternative. It’s simply an easier one to digest.
What we have right now (and for the past five seasons) is what it feels to want everything. And everything means that a draw or a defeat is amplified tenfold. The want to win things, proper things makes football a far less expressively joyful experience in the darker moments. Even a high level defeat at Anfield is better than a middle table win anywhere else.
See, this all comes down to what I’ve been preaching for years. That a League Cup* (or even an FA Cup) means nothing if you’re also not aiming to win something bigger. Like the league title. Because (SPOILER), Spurs will never be the team we want them to be if they don’t push beyond the limitations we have accepted over the years. It’s not just about proving the mentality is spot on in one-off games. It’s doing so across the entirety of a season. This obviously has a higher risk of disappointment attached to it, but oh boy, the potential pay off is too much to ignore. Even if the odds are stacked against us. And the likelihood has been (historically) that we miss out.
*I’m not saying no to a League Cup, but this won’t change us in the long term.
I once proclaimed football is about the moments. I still believe that. But I also want those moments consolidated with the rewards that come with being the best. Every so often will do. And that is what we are ultimately aiming for.
Things are actually alright. It’s good to be a Tottenham supporter. It always has been. But more so today and in the past ten years than ever before (well, decades ago is the last time you might have felt that something was happening).
Anyways…
Hopefully after the Leicester game, Spurs and myself regain our mojo and I can treat you to something satirically masterful here on DML.
COYS yeah