Top bloke from the Park Lane Lower

From the archives, January 2009.


We are Tottenham

“Alright mate? Tommy Tottenham ‘ere. Top bloke from the Park Lane lower. F*cking ‘ave it every week with the Spurs, home and away. You know what I’m sayin? Giving it large. Proper fan. Don’t miss a game or a cheeky pint before or after kick-off. Happy with the 3-1 Wigan result. About time that Russian did the business for us. He’s been pony. £14M for an International player who can’t even settle in a Prem League club? You what? Exactly. Reckon he just about saved his Spurs career with that brace, otherwise ‘arry would have had him back on a plan to Siberia. You know what I mean?

Too many pounces down our way at the minute. And I’ll tell you this, for £700 I reckon I’m well justified to make my opinion public, at the game, if I don’t like what I see. You know what I’m talking about, right? David bleeding Bentley. Utter pants. Can’t do a thing, not a single thing, right. I mean, he’s a footballer, no? Yeah? Then beat the first man. Play the simple ball. Trying way too hard, got not an iota of confidence that lad. Which is why he needs to know that he’s playing sh*te, cause ‘arry aint telling him. He’s picking him every bleeding game.

Oi, David, you are crap mate. And I’m gonna keep reminding you how crap you are every time you pick up the ball and try something fancy-dan. It’s the only way we’re gonna get it through to your thick highlighted skull, ya get me? Same goes for any Spurs player not doing it out on the pitch. You’re gonna get it in the neck, cause you’re on 30k+ a week, and I’ve spent a ton for my match-day experience. That’s travel, ticket, beers in, pie and chips and a match-day programme. So show me some loyalty, yeah? Give me a performance otherwise you’re gonna get a verbal smack. Hold on for second...


So, yeah. Bentley. Waste of money right there for ya. And talking about waste of money, that Ghaly back on the bench again. What you playing at ‘arry? You mugging us off or what? Know your history. He showed some proper disrespect to the shirt when he discarded it the way he did. Proper home support that was. The way we got to change ‘arry’s decision to bring him on with the booing. Class. Don’t want him anywhere near the club I love. We need players who want to play for the shirt, and not throw it away. I aint having him on the pitch again. What if he strips off and chucks it in my face? Last thing I want to see is a player push forward and attempt to make things happen, but mis-place all his passes. One Bentley is enough thank you very much. Error of judgement is inexcusable and unforgivable. Like that Judas, Campbell. You know what I mean? Got no time for has-beens.

I’ll show my support right, I’ll show it, but I’ll show it where it matters. For the individuals who deserve a good song, a mouthy boisterous chant for the ages.

Like that Defoe. Proper Spurs is young Jermain. 64 goals in 110 starts for us. Well worth spunking £20M on to bring him back. That’s some half decent sell-on value for Pompey there. Levy, take notes son. White and blue blood running through those veins. Can’t wait to have the little menace back in the Lilywhite. He’s exactly what we need at the minute.


‘ave it mate. That’s what I call support yeah. Singing for a player who doesn’t even play for us. We transcend the terrace. The Park Lane yoof go beyond the norm when it comes to a good song. We are existentially vocal. You know what I’m saying right? Proper illuminati sh*t. If you ain’t Spurs, then you got no chance of understanding us. You don’t need to understand it. Ask Gomes. Doesn’t drop the clangers that much anymore does he? Course not. Cause we gave him our backing. Touch. Makes your eyes bleed our home support. And that’s how it is. That’s how we do it.

You wait till we move into our 60,000 seater stadium. Us proper fans might be a minority at the minute, but hold onto ya hats. We’ll be ‘aving it louder than ever.

Supporter power innit. Ain’t no pantomime. It’s our right to support the club and the team, and if it means weeding out the mediocre elements with a bit of tidy pro-active sing-a-longs and boos, then job done. Cheque in the post right, ‘arry? Cause you got a couple of thousand coaches in the stands doing the job for you. Hahahaha, Come on you Spurs....”


Our guest blogger, Tommy Tottenham, is a loyal Spurs supporter who goes to every game.