Spurs chairman AWOL
Daniel Levy has thrown Tottenham’s summer transfer dealings into disarray after failing to dial into a conference call to decide on the latest bid from Spanish giants Real Madrid in their pursuit to sign Luka Modric. With the player’s heart set on a move to La Liga, the hope was that the Spurs board would agree on the latest offer of £24.9M (with further add-ons) or simply wait a week for Madrid to bid less before accepting it.
The suggestion is that Levy plans to agitate for stagnation and avoid any deal from concluding so that it’s dragged on across the summer with the possibility of the player, deep in contract, unable to move on for the second year running. According to club insiders Levy submitted a memo saying that he won’t consider taking any calls from abroad unless they are from clubs responding to offers made for their players or bids for our players that are not called Luka Modric.
Modric did not train on Thursday, the first scheduled day of his pre-season, although he did turn up at Spurs Lodge. He did not stay for long having been chased out of the training complex by club mascot, Chirpy, who (with cigar in mouth and a bottle of whisky in hand) screamed obscenities at the Croatian play-maker who managed to escape by car without injury. Modric later met representatives from Claims Direct at a restaurant suggesting that perhaps one of the squirrels thrown at him left a scratch or two.
Injury lawyers for Luka
Madrid president, Florentino Perez, is confident that Modric will move to his club and has instructed the player not to travel to the United States with Spurs for their tour. The plan is to have the player stay behind and if he remains detached long enough everybody will forget what he looks like so when Ricardo Carvalho turns up with a mullet speaking broken Croatian nobody will notice. Levy’s stance has also softened. Last summer he was abundantly clear the player was not for sale. This year he accepts the player does have a price. A price that sits written on a post-it note stuck to Modric’s current long standing contract with the club placed in an envelope hidden within Levy's boxer shorts which can only be revealed if he is caught.
Some one close to the board who isn’t on the board but knows someone who knows someone who shared it with someone who posted it on a forum which then proceeded to spread via social media said, “If Luka’s agent wants to orchestrate a move to Madrid, they’ll have to find Levy and get hold of the envelope. They will have to place their hand down the front of Levy’s trousers to get it. It’s that simple”.
According to the Daily Mail, Levy was last sighted boarding a yacht, sticking up his middle finger and screaming 'haters gonna hate'.