It's easy to lose yourself in the midst of satire and self deprecation, shrugging despondently at yet another downplayed soundbite from Harry Redknapp already writing off our chances of a top four finish with ample self preservational rhetoric about how impossible it is to compete with the Man City's of this world. As you attempt to cover your ears the echoes of the earlier Kevin Bond bombshell bounces off the walls as a look of disdain collapses your face at the thought that the club are willing to sell Luka Modic because Luka Modric does in fact have an acceptable selling valuation even though the chairman had banged the drums to the beat of 'no chance in hell'.
To compound matters furthers, Mirko Vucinic was never really interested in leaving Italy, preferring an Old Lady rather than a big blue and white cock. It's your fetish Mirko, whatever turns you on. Juan Mata was a bid too far, the player with eyes only for Champions League football. But at least the ambition is there. Elsewhere, people laugh about Joey Barton being made available on a free and conversations implode with 'what ifs' whilst they pollute the social networks and make their obvious journey to Sky Sports News.
We've still not sold Robbie Keane or Alan Hutton. Whilst the rumours that Jermaine Jenas has in his possession photos of a naked Daniel Levy swimming in a hot-tub of melted cream cheese bagels with Chirpy, carries more weight by the day. Elsewhere the most active of the In the Know community 'insiders and those privy to inside information' continue to only provide us with commentary based on pragmatic guess-work and ambiguity aided by the colours of the rainbow.
Blue and yellow says the Phantom of the Lane. As one esteemed friend pointed out, blue + yellow = green. Green is the colour of grass. Football is played on grass, therefore...hold onto ya hats...we're going to sign a footballer! w00t!
Practically every single ITK has mentioned practically every single known target so well done in advance for the sixteen of you that called our first major signing of the summer months back.
If I said we're about to sign Rossi, or Llorente or even ex-gooner Adebayor - does that make me ITK? Does it? Or does it simply make me someone who just reads a lot. What's that? Rossi is no longer on the transfer list? Okay then, stick him in the bin and promote Benzema in his place.
But whilst we can all easily run away with the doom and gloom let's remind ourselves of a few things and allow that sun to shine back in our lives.
We could have finished top four last season, the margin of difference between success and failure was as thin as a strand of hair. Even with our misfiring misfits up front and lack of general formational cohesiveness we failed because we allowed ourselves to fail. We disappointed because we could have and should have been far better over the course of the season. We hardly lose at home but didn't win enough to deserve Champions League for a second successive season. It hurts because if you dare to think of what the consequences might have been for the likes of the big bad scary monster from Eastlands, it warms the cockels. But every glitch we hiccuped is hardly of epic proportions, and not insurmountable if we attempt to correct them and better ourselves.
We still have Dawson, BAE, Huddlestone, Sandro, Bale, Lennon, van der Vaart...hey, even Luka Modric. You know Luka - the meek mulleted kid who never handed in a transfer request who might yet quietly fall back in love with us when the reality of a closed transfer window slaps him across the face. Hey Luka, don't be forgetting that gentleman's agreement you signed with pen and signature.
And as for the top end of the side - it's the area that we must improve without doubt. There's the clue. Without doubt. So light up a cigar, kick back, stick a smile on it and relax. It might seem others are progressing at a faster pace than us but let's remember we finished 4th and then 5th with Redknapp in charge. And he's meant to not have a clue. When we sign our forward we might just fluke another top four placement. Smile, because it will happen so you might as well be wearing the right face for the occasion.
Cometh the Spurs.
If the forward is Zamora obviously discount everything I've just written.
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