We need a new Plan A to go with our Plan B (cheeky bids accepted for Plans C and D)

20th Jan. The date. Today. First month of the year heading towards it's conclusion. Not long then until the transfer window shuts again and all we’ve learnt thus far is that we don’t really have an outstanding target with regards to resolving the forward conundrum.

Has Keane gone yet? Nope. Pav is apparently a Sunderland hopeful. Crouch – well, most of you want him sold but there’s little chance of Harry ridding the squad of his Plan B. Which leaves us with JD playing up top as our main man. Defoe, a sort of Plan B+ rather than a fully fledged Plan A. 

So we’re left with the usual rehashed links (Fabiano, Suarez, Rossi) to add to the likes of Carroll and...actually I think that’s it. No other available strikers in world football currently. Just the aforementioned mob.

Which is why I’m beginning to settle back in the comfort of my sofa and ignore all the hype and stories and ITK nonsense, because from the looks it, we are in for another last minute wheeler-dealer moment of magic from the chairman, with Harry on the sidelines giving the nod and thumbs up. I’d place actual money on a new major signing if...if Keane and Pav go in the next two weeks. If it goes down to the wire, if we’re on deadline day and Jim White has his beef in his hand behind the desk at Sky Sports News, then that last minute moment of magic might wholly rely on plenty of last minute cheeky bids for the two forwards that our gaffer doesn’t fancy.

  Plan B. Good mic skills for a white man.

Keane is gone in mind. West Ham perhaps. Doubt he’ll get away with claiming them lot as his (other other) boyhood club. Pav is the key to all this. But, like I said, if it goes down to the wire and the club await the Russian to be sold before making a move then it’s going to completely depend on magic.

Or perhaps foundations have already been laid down in preparation and the last minute transfer deals are never as manic and desperate as they seem. Just chairman and managers waiting until it’s too late to do anything but take a risk.

And what of the player we’ve actually signed? Piennar?

Two things to muse about here.

I quite like the theory that the only reason Chelsea bid for him was to force us into spending some of our treasured money from the war chest (to weaken it) when the ideal (original scenario) was to bring in the player for free in the summer. Conspiracy theory anyone? Honestly, make up your own ridiculous story arc, I don’t know, maybe about one where a player rejects Chelsea to join Spurs instead. Craaaaaazy!

The other point is – it’s a good signing. It’s not the big sexy player Harry wants to aid with pushing us onto the next level, but he’s a player who will cover in key areas. Seems Niko has joined dos Santos in the forgotten lounge of...sorry, who was I talking about again? And Piennar is/was Everton’s player of the season (2010) and we all know that Everton are more work ethic than glitz and glam, so for the money paid – I’m happy with this. Gut feeling, it’s going to be one of those almost sort of under the radar unspectacular types of signings that just does what it says on the  tin with additional thanks to little expectancy or pressure from the stands.

But alas, we still await that game changer. Best transfer story of non-eventfulness has to be the one about us 'saving' Joe Cole from his Liverpool nightmare. That takes the award. Standing ovation.

Shame feeder club Real Madrid don’t have any players to throw our way this time round.