Bale and the Old Lady

I'd love a job where I could turn up in the morning and make some shit up with nothing to back up my claims and still get it signed off by my manager and approved and then published. No talent required. Just the ability to write ambiguous nonsense. Better still a job where I'm tasked with writing something for the sake of aiding an agenda. Substance is over-rated, right?

Bale to Juventus. A perfect illustration.


Wank story which first did the rounds a while back along with the Bale to Birmingham stories that persisted before his renaissance began. In fact, this Juv link was possibly birthed and borrowed via the Italian press who are no doubt attempting to aid The Old Lady by suggesting Bale would be available on the cheap. A case of the Italian media creating some transfer hype and our media copy and pasting it. Testing the waters the aim of the game to see just how much Spurs might be willing to tag on the young Welsh star. Such is the plight of Serie A and it's loss of grace, they whore themselves via the tabloids. Bale would probably be boss out there, but he'd need a time machine to go back to an age when their league was golden. It's hardly that now.

So well done the media once more. Let's print some crap about Spurs but continue our campaign to turn Theo Walcott into some form of England international saviour by continuously publishing photos of him in non-sports sections of newspapers to keep him safe in the hearts and minds of the public (he's got a fit girlfriend too) and highlighting his odd goal and speed (he's fast, can't pass for shit, but he's fast) even though he's been predominately shite for 3-4 years and would be nowhere near the England squad if he played for anyone else. 150+ games for club, and about 10 half decent performances lost somewhere in there. But hey, he's English and plays for Arsenal so he must be good. Talking of which...

Forza Barca, innit? Messi was ridiculous. As was Andy Gray's commentating that was beyond bias. Yes, do (that's you Sky Sports) feel free to be pro-English clubs but do try and leave the hypocrisy and contradictions at home next time (that's you Andy). If you happened to watch the game on a stream (pwoper norty) you'd have heard Gooner Richard Keyes colourful words on the game including the golden "You've been shite son with your daft pink boots". Guess who he was chatting about? Very funny to hear the waxed one doing a Fanzone, unintentionally, and unaware he could be heard by one or two non-Sky Sports subscribers. There was even a Fart-gate incident in the studio. Hilarity.

Anyways (sidetracked there) I'm content with the purchase (Bale) we made from Soton. Walcott was rumoured to have agreed a move to us before changing his mind last minute. Phew. Our Azza had his moments when he looked to be nothing more than a speed merchant. He progressed. Bale? Progressing. Think we can smile about that. Theo does do a mighty good impersonation of Henry though with the posturing and blank moody face. All we got are big ears hidden by plenty of hair and a shaved eyebrow. Not quite newsworthy that.

There was a time when there was questions raised about how badly we handled Bale's development. Injuries, shattered confidence - credit to Harry Redknapp there for managing the situation with some finesse. 2012 is when his contract ends. So Levy, sign up that boy for an extra 5 years. Make it a priority. Would make it one less player the tabloids can badger us about. And we need to be keeping Old Man Fergie away a little bit longer too.