The Stupendous Adventures of Gareth Bale
“This is going to be tricky to get out of”
“We are not done just yet”
“It’s an impossible situation”
“We are running out of time people”
“Someone make a decision...now!”
“Okay, let’s try and keep calm about this, let’s not panic”
“NOBODY IS PANICING”
“Can we get a message out then?”
“Working on it”
“Hurry up, damn it, otherwise we're doomed”
“I said I’m working on it”
“Will you two keep it cool”
“I want my mummy”
“GET THE MESSAGE OUT NOW!!”
“Okay, I know we’re in a precarious situation, but who the hell just broke wind?”
Meanwhile, at the Lodge...
Harry Redknapp: What’s the Russian doing?
Joe Jordan: Where?
Harry Redknapp: Pav, for f*cks sake, leave the squirrels along
Harry Redknapp: Hello? Right...okay...okay...Joe, go get Gareth, someone on the phone for him. It's urgent.
Joe Jordan: Gareth phone. Now!
Gareth Bale: Hello.
Joe Jordan: Take the f**king phone, son, I aint got time to hold it for ya.
Gareth Bale: Lush.
Gareth Bale: Hello? Yes...speaking. I think I can. Where? Okay, see you shortly. Bye, bye.
Harry Redknapp: Everything okay?
Gareth Bale: Yes gaffer, need to pop out quickly before training, if that’s alright with you.
Harry Redknapp: Not to Manchester I hope.
Gareth Bale: (laughing) No gaffer, seriously, I won’t be long.
Harry Redknapp: Good lad, good lad. Hey Joe, he’s such a good lad.
Joe Jordan: ROMAN, FOR F*CKS SAKE MAN, MOVE AWAY FROM THE F*CKING SQUIRRELS.
“Okay people. He’s on his way. Let’s keep calm. We’re going to be saved by the only person on the planet that can get us out of this. There is nothing this man can’t do"
Green Lantern: “Yes, result !!! In your face Darkseid! Nice one Supa”
Superman: "Thank God I could get a signal, was down to the last bar"
Captain Marvel: "Phew"
Wonder Woman: “I could have got us out of here if I had my indestructible bracelts”
Superman: “You lost your bracelets”
Wonder Woman: “Yeah well, whose fault was that?”
Flash: “For the last time, I misplaced them, I didn’t lose them”
Captain Marvel: "Oh Christ, someone farted again"
Batman: “I want my mummy”
Click here and scroll down for eps 1-6 of 'Bale and Bentley'.