'The Glory days are back'

Sky Sports News, you've done it again.

Give it a rest with all the ‘Spurs for the top 4’ nonsense please. Picking out a couple of simpletons and enticing them to talk about ‘the glory days’ just because we’ve won two games on the trot is not a representative of the majority. Prior to the start of the season, most of the media and pundits had as for 6th at best. Fans agreed. Six points later you’re showing a Spurs shirt with ‘Top 4’ printed on the back (did you offer to pay for that?) and interviewing two giddy over excitable supporters who probably have ancestry you can trace all the way back to a Newcastle mental institution. What next? Cameras outside of Harry’s house with four or five Spurs fans gleefully jumping up and down behind a reporter holding up a cupboard cut out Premier League trophy? Daniel Levy to commission a new special release entitled, ‘The Glory Days are Back – 2 games, 1 DVD’? Chas'n'Dave to release a new track with the lyric, 'We're gonna do it again like last week'?

I guess with no repeat performance of last year’s debacle, and thus no Soccer Saturday punditry mock of the week to entertain the SSN viewers, you’re taking the tactic of building us up so that any fall would appear to be bigger than it is so you push Charlie Nicholas in front of a camera to slate all of the deluded Lilywhites who all believed we were Top 4 material after two games. Are you chaps so insecure about the Premier Leagues status as 'the best in the world' that every game and performance has to appear to mean more than it actually does? Wait until we've won 12 on the spin, then you can wet your knickers to your hearts content.

Shame for all the countless clips of fans saying '6th at best' ending up on the edit room floor. Not newsworthy. No potential for a sound-bite there. Realistic fans on SSN? Doesn't fit the narrative does it?

As for the lady who claimed ‘It’s great to see the glory years come back’ who has apparently supported us since 1977, how much acid did you drop you absolute belting melter? Get a grip ffs. And if I see anyone wearing a Spurs shirt with ‘Top 4’ on the back, I’m going to pelt you with frozen monkey shit pellets.

We all know how the media work. Pick out the weak moronic ones, prime them up with questions and force them to say the most sensationalist comment possible, edit it to fuck, and run it every 20 minutes. I guess if some fans want to over-react wearing ridiculous smiles on their faces, it's better than what we had at the start of last season with all the insufferable crying about relegation and the Keystone Kop comparisons. Fans moping around with sickles and hooded cloaks. Depressing stuff. And from one extreme to another. You never fail to let us down.

How about running a story with more substance? It's staggering that nobody has picked up on Chirpy's drinking problem. He's the Amy Winehouse of mascots. A mess who spends most of his time getting shit-faced in Faces Gants Hill, and then staggering around WHL on match-day hugging and harassing people. Can nobody smell the alcoholic stink on his breath?

Anyway, I'm off to have 'Champions League Treble winners, 2011 - 2012 - 2013' tattooed on my back.