Understanding the £20M Spurs bid for Kenwyne Jones

Two men having a conversation:


"Hello guv, I was just walking past and noticed that hedge-trimmer on your lawn and was wondering if I could buy it off you. I'll pay you £20,000"

"Sorry, you'll do what?"

"£20,000 for the hedge-trimmer right there"

"You live across the road don't you? You've already got a hedge-trimmer and a grass-cutter and a couple of lawn mowers. Why would you possibly want this one. It's no better than what you have already?"

"The ones I have belonged to the previous owner. He left them behind. I prefer your hedge-trimmer. Reckon it will do a better job. Looks reboust, a little akward perhaps, but reckon it can do the job far more effectively"

"Better than what you've got already?"

"I think so"

"For £20,000? It's only worth £50"

"Ok. I understand"

"Great. Now you'll leave me alone?"

"No. I'll pay you £40,000 for the trimmer"

"Look mate, I don't need the money, ok? Leave us, me, alone"

"Sorry, what?"

"I'd like to keep my hedge-trimmer thank you very much. I don't need the extra cash, ok?"

"Let me get this straight. I just offered you £40,000 for a hedge-trimmer and you're turning it down?"

"Yes. The trimmer is happy where it is thank you very much. It's happy, I'm happy, my garden is happy"

"That's a bid of £40,000 for a hedge-trimmer that on reflection is probably not value for money compared to what I own already and if I walk down the High Road and shop around I'll probably find a better model and yet you don't want to take the money?"

"Nope. I have a rich American uncle"

"But it's like me offering you £10,000 for that flowerpot over there. It's only worth 60p. How can you possibly reject my bid? It's ludicrous!"

"How can you possibly make such a ludicrous bid in the first place?"

A moments silence follows.

"I'm mental I am"

"So am I"

The end.