Le temps détruit tout

Have you ever seen Irréversible? There’s a quite brutal scene in the movie, uncomfortable as anything you're likely to see, where Monica Bellucci is anally raped. Then punched in the face and stomach repeatedly. That’s basically what the English Premier League is planning on doing to our beautiful game. So, stick that black armband on and close your eyes for a moment of thoughts and prayers. A minutes silence please. I don't want to hear a sound.

All 20 clubs have agreed to explore the proposal.

- Season extended by 39 games
- 10 extra games played
- The extra games will be played at venues all around the world
- Cities to bid for the rights to stage them
- Points will count towards the final league table
- The additional fixtures will be (possibly) determined by a draw (with the top 5 seeded)

What a farce.

We have gone from a game that belonged to the working class to a fucking shambolic family game that is better suited for the Disney Channel. We can’t stand at games without being threatened with losing our season ticket. We can’t swear at games without getting looks from stewards. Its a police state with £5 burgers for treats.

New stadiums resemble lifeless stadia better suited for mundane games of American Football, where people are more interested in hot dogs and cheerleaders.

Modern day football is heading towards an abyss of commercialism, more interested in serving up ribs and chips at half-time in executive boxes. The new prototype doesn’t want to be part of a tribe. Doesn’t want the adrenaline-rushed high and lows of supporting a club, no matter the league position, win draw or loss. The new prototype wants to be entertained. Brace yourselves, because you – the average true fan – is no longer important.

Expect this to go the way of Hollywood. Football players striking because they are not earning a percentage of the money earned by associations the world over. Its going to get bloated, like an over-budgeted blockbuster movie with big name stars in the leading roles, appealing to the easily pleased masses.

I don’t buy this crap about catering for the widest possible audience to help raise the profile of the game. Everyone who fucking matters already knows about football and the Prem League. The clubs are rich enough when they can spunk money on average talent and over-charge fans for season tickets. If a player can earn up to £60k a week today, what in 2011 when this fucking train wreck comes into effect?

“Some fans may feel aggrieved, but their concerns will be outweighed by the financial advantages for the clubs”

There. Right there. Fucking moneyshot in the eye. It’s all about the $$$$ and nothing else. Football has long sold out, but we could live with the executive boxes and a quiet Emirates Stadium. I’m an old romantic. I believe that the clubs – the club you support – is not the ground the pitch is on, or the name or the players. It’s the fans. Without the fans, the club would not exist. When the club up and moves location or players and managers move on, the fans are still there. The dawning of a new age will see us become redundant, unnecessary. A throw-back to the ‘poor old days’ of football. Your money won’t be missed, because there’s this cunt who can afford to bring 10 cunt’s to a game so they can sit in a box and eat sea bass.

There’s nothing in place, nothing to regulate this type of (de)evolution. FIFA? LOL. People will argue that if the Premier League wants to stay ahead of the other top continental leagues, then this will guarantee them the exposure and financial clout to keep Spain and Italy in the shade when attracting the very best players in Europe and the world. It’s a fucking move too far.

If this happens, I can’t wait to see who travels to Dubai or New York to see their team. Sounds a bit sexy that, doesn’t it? Fucking scab is what you are if you’re thinking about making a trip.

This is not the NFL. And providing the chance for foreign fans to enjoy a slice of Premiership action ‘live’ in their own backyard will only lead onto more drastic bastardisation of the game. One extra game is one game too many.

That's us in the pedestrian underpass. Fucked into a coma.

Time destroys all things.