Preparing for the worst

Commentary on this weeks tabloid hype

Vagit Alekperov - 48th richest person in the world with an estimated cool £6.3 billion net worth. Allegedly interested in buying our beloved club. The story was reported in one of the tabloids (the Daily Mail) and included several instances of trademark journalistic half-truths and mis-information. Stating that Levy was 'a lifelong Tottenham supporter' almost made me swallow my tongue. Another classic propaganda piece stated how Charlie Lewis (the son of the man that doesn't appear to exist - Joe Lewis) will apparently assist Levy with bringing success to Spurs. How so exactly? If the Lewis family gave a shit, they would do what's needed to elevate us to the next level instead of allowing the incompetent Levy to continue his stagnated approach to the challenge of achieving top 4 status. We sit outside the top 10 (in 14th) when it comes to our financial value. 14th. That's mid-table mediocrity. Something Levy is quite content with. And something that Joe Lewis is quite obviously dis-interested with. It's sinister to say the least.

Better looking than Levy, IMO

Also this week, the bi-monthly rumours of moving to Wembley re-surface (again in the Daily Mail, via the way of an Internet forum) while they re-develop WHL. Seems modern day journalism consists of lazy reporters waiting for someone to post inside information on the net before they copy it and run it as an exclusive. What next? Messi to sign for Spurs for £70M? The age of reporting factual information is over. Make something up and print it is the future. Something that bides well with the wolf in sheep's clothing, Levy. Anyways, back to the stadium.

Hopefully, if they have any sense, it will look like this when completed:

Enclosed (rather than open-air), so that the loudest fans in the world can shatter the ear-drums of the opposition, while they bleed goals in the new fortress. Oh, can I dream.

I'm surprised Levy hasn't suggested ground sharing with the other lot down the road. Though having us sit in Wembleys red seats for a season or two probably amounts to the same thing. Compounded with the fact that the national stadium is in South London adds further insult to injury. Spending money on re-building the Lane will probably be funded by the sale of Berbatov and Lennon to Manchester United. Which means a new 55,000 capacity for a mid-table side is an unnecessary step backwards, as we would be financially crippled without first partaking in the lucrative Champions League. Something we wont get into without Berbatov and Lennon. Catch-22. Levy's iron-cast excuse for on the field failure that he dare not whisper to others.

Field Mission Fails

I was unable to complete my second field mission of the week on account of the guard dog that the Levy family now have patrolling the garden during the late evening. Vicious little thing. I hate Papillons. Did not have my repellent belt and plastic bag containing pieces of steak, so decided not to venture into the grounds unprepared for combat. Had the steak with mushrooms and mash when I got home.

Spent the night looking ahead to our remaining games:

(A) Charlton
(H) Blackburn
(H) Man City

Already, defeatist Jol is preparing his excuses has he grumbles about fixture congestion. All because we have to play 3 games in the space of 6 days. Well so fucking what. I have to go to work five days on the trot, working 8 hours a day. And at no point do I find time during my working day to lay down and have my legs massaged and rubbed. That only happens on the weekend and costs £40 (£60 with extras).

5th spot is in our hands if we claim 9 points. How can we fail when this months official Spurs magazine Hotspur claims that Jermaine Jenas is 'the heart and soul of the Spurs midfield'. This is akin to Time magazine sticking Paris Hilton on the cover and proclaiming: "Paris: Why I'm running for Presidency".

Jenas is the embodiment of everything that's wrong with this club. He is Levy's poster boy. I've decided that after the last weekend of the season I will be addressing Mr Levy via blog and email with my review of the 2007 season with a 'Dear Mr Levy' letter. Knowing full well his minions at White Hart Lane have probably IP blocked this website via their firewall to 'protect' their master from my stinging words, I will be hand-delivering the letter to Mr Levy himself. I do not care for the consequences. Even if the last attempt to do this ended with three jobsworth Waitrose security men pulling me to the ground in the wine section while Levy stacked his trolley with Burgundy.

I will continue to rage against the machine, God willing.

Spookytabloid hype