(written on Friday evening)
Just got home to find Mila Kunis, Kate Upton and that brunette bird from the Blurred Lines video in my bed with my missus begging me, telling me to get stuck in.
This didn't actually happen. It is a lie.
Had it happened it would still not have been enough to distract me from the sensational tingling my body is currently experiencing off the back of a quite ridiculous days work from Franco Baldini, Daniel Levy and Andre Villas-Boas. Now that's a threesome worth sandwiching yourself between. If your appetite can handle more there's a hat-trick of Spursy poster-boys to quench your unrelenting thirst.
A pulsating day. A Friday we won't be forgetting in a hurry. It's not even deadline day. Who needs deadline day after this quite staggering display of business. Decisive, with intent and ambition. Chairman supports coach by appointing director with war chest imported in via the Bahamas.
Okay, alright, I hear your calls to retain some level of grounded patience but excuse me whilst I immerse myself in something we've threatened to do for an age but never have. The traditional apologetic side-stepping has been kicked and bruised into a shallow grave whilst we destroy the transfer window in one clean, crisp crusade.
I need to keep reminding myself about Soldado and Chadli and Paulinho. Whatisface too, Capoue. Three...three club transfer records shattered in one single window.
Spurs have broken football.
Yes, we're going to need time to settle in (cue grounded patience), bed in, blah blah standard self preservational defence mechanism because you know, history tells us to be mindful what with past hysterics and broken dreams and those damned footballing Gods and their meddling, poisoning us with self-doubt and capitulations.
I'm going to enjoy this with heart on sleeve. It's Tottenham. It never does what it says on the tin. We're the most dramatic of football clubs and it's my right to embrace the giddiness of it all. Why support from behind the sofa when you can be swinging naked from the chandelier?
To even consider any genuine challenge to the clubs above us we need top drawer players in every position, not once but twice. We need a competitive edge and we also need players that fit into the template AVB requires. Players with pace and technical traits. Dare I say 'three year plan'? Last year, the foundations and the re-setting of in-house methodology. This season the positive transitioning of the squad, with power and grace added in abundance for a top four fight. Next season...a title push?
Look at me, all wet between the legs.
It's astonishing that earlier in the window we all struggled to comprehend life after Gareth Bale and now he's simply a footnote to what appears to be a brand new multi-layered team. To think this is all happening because Benny got injured and Bale slotted back in as our left back.
It will take a little time for us to hit a definitive stride, but boy oh boy am I going to enjoy getting there.
Spurs have been on a slow upwards turn for many years. ENIC have decided (for whatever reason they care to trigger this) now is the time to stand below us all like Atlas with the world on his shoulders and send us spiralling into space.
From a team where you knew who our best player will be was to a team where you can't choose.
Spurs swagger class of 2014 looks set for maximum rejuvenation. I dare not blink and miss the next player in.