Thought of the day (with thanks to Charlie Adam)

 
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Paulinho - out for 4 weeks with significant ligament damage to right ankle.

Joining:

Sandro (currently stuck in human form, unable to turn into beast)

Vertonghen (kryptonite poisoning)

Kaboul (bones made of crisps)

Defoe (looking for passport)

Townsend (ABS to be installed)