Hotel ITK

Hotel California reimagined for Tottenham Hotspur. With sincere apologies to The Eagles, writers Don Felder, Glenn Frey, Don Henley and producer Bill Szymczyk.

Instrumental here.

 

Hotel ITK

On a dark twitter timeline, I.T.K makes me glare
Warm smell of bullsh*t, makes me pull out my hair
Up ahead on NewsNow, I saw an enticing link
Spat out coffee, eyes popped out of my head
I had to browse and couldn't blink
There it stood between adverts;
I read the cryptics well
And I was screaming to myself,
"This could be factual or this could be fail"
Then I switched on Sky Sports, Jim White showed me the way
There were texts on my iphone,
I thought I saw them say...

Welcome to the Hotel In the Know
I want to punch their face (Want to punch their face)
Want to hurt with mace
Plenty of lies at the Hotel In the Know
Always twice a year (Always twice a year)
You will find them here

His mind is definitely twisted, he's got copy and paste
He got a lot of silly, silly blogs but not an ounce of taste
How they post with their comments, sickly sycophants
Why bother with this, he's not clairvoyant

So I called up the Phantom,
"Please who shall we sign?"
He said, "Blue yellow done and dusted he's one of a kind"
But I tell him to f**k off, I'm way out of line,
So I'm kicked off the forum by the admin
And I'm banned for life...

Welcome to the Hotel In the Know
They never get it right (They never get it right)
Make things up each night
They never commit at the Hotel In the Know
Always twice a year (Always twice a year)
I will always jeer

Luka, there's no feeling,
Hope you get head lice
Daniel Levy said "You signed a contract fool, keep you here for life"
And all our transfer targets,
Their clubs refuse to talk
Villas-Boas wants to sign Moutinho
But there's no pen we just stalk

Last prayer I remember, I cried
'Transfer deadline is here'
I had to pray for goals galore
Where is that forward Adebayor?
"Signed" said the chairman,
"Yes we've concluded a deal.
It's Jermaine Jenas on a long term contract,
you're not dreaming, it's for real"