The world is forever changing. And with it, so do the Astonishing S-Men.
Welcome to the next chapter.
With the Levy Institute for Mediocre Learning set to be re-built along with a new School for the Ungifted, the worldwide headquarters of the S-Corporation based in N17 is embracing a brave new world. White with streaks of yellow the uniform colours synonymous with the North London evolution in their continued battle with the Pundits and Keyboard Warriors, along with the ever present Sky Sports Four. There are enemies to be seen in every direction. These are troubled times. A time in need for heroes.
To make sure the competitive nature always remains at a high unparalleled level, a new special team has been put together to hurt the opposition and aid the progression of Professor L's Lilywhite agenda.
This is the S-Men. This is S-Men: Strike-Force.
Notable aliases: Houdini, The Twitch, The Escapist.
Team responsibility: Team leader and father figure. It's his role to select the attack formations and guide his men to victory. And hug. Plenty of arms around shoulders and tight tight hugging.
Abilities: The overseer of curricula and academic aspects, teaching the science of football and the complex mathematics of passing the ball from one white shirt to another, using simple physic techniques with Hex commands, i.e. 'run around a lot and kick it in the net'. Capable of reality warping, manifested as probability alteration. Can alter reality with the words “Down to barebones” and "Two points, eight games" that results with an exceptional level of commitment and effort from his team.
Other strengths: Can summon back departed S-Men who have lost their way in the wilderness. Is also able to teleport from one location to the next in a blink of an eye.
Footnote: It's said that his one weakness is The Brown Kryptonite, but there is no evidence to suggest of its existence and it's ability to corrupt him.
Quote: "You wouldn't hit a man with a twitch would you?"
Notable aliases: The Windmill, Cartwheel, Shouty Pointy Man.
Team responsibility: The commanding officer of the Strike-Force. Deep cover agent, incognito, with the uncanny ability to dis-balance the oppositions defensive game-plan with subtle flicks and movements, leaving them in a dizzying state of fear.
Main abilities: Is able to transcend through space and time, allowing his essence to exist momentarily five seconds ahead of everyone else meaning he can drift and run into space that isn't yet available in the present. This may appear to leave his fellow S-Men in a state of confusion as they can't quite figure out where he is until he returns to the 'present'. The journey back is not deemed to be an easy one with the subsequent pain resulting with indistinguishable screams and flapping of arms. But his influence, invisible to the untrained eye, remains indisputable and without challenge.
Other strengths: Lighting fast arm reflexes with possible hypnotic undertones when waved around at high velocity speeds.
Footnote: In one of his darkest moments, having been brainwashed by the evil mastermind, The Waiter, The Jig's powers were practically decimated during his imprisonment, where he was tortured and humiliated week in week out by his sadistic keeper. Some say, since his return to Professor L's Institute, he has been irreversibly damaged by this damning experience leaving many to question why he is given the responsibility to lead the team.
Quote: "You wanna play with The Jig? Here, pick a pass!"
Notable aliases: The Black Greaves, Flash, Pocket Dynamite, The Sex.
Team responsibility: The main outlet for decisive single-minded attacks. Only needs a second to render the opposition null and void with devastating strikes of power. Blink and you'll miss him - and then you'll regret it.
Main abilities: Is said to have been born with the chaos gene that allows him to run ragged any opposing defensive line placed in his path in the field of battle. Explosive burst of pace, power in feet, strength and determination - considered to be the poster-boy of the Strike-Force. There are whispers he is the illegitimate son of Mr Triffic, but the bloodline remains unproven.
Other strengths: Insatiable, lust magnet that has the women falling at his feet. Some say his skills in the bedroom are just as explosive as the fireworks he produces during missions. A trail of devestated women would suggest this to be the case.
Footnote: Is known to produce erratic displays when faced with his old time nemesis, The Offside Trap, who possesses the power to drag him back away from an attacking position, leaving him frustrated and ineffective.
Quote: "Here I am in your personal space so go ahead and open up"
Species: Russian to English interpreter.
Notable aliases: The Man on the Touch-line.
Team Responsibility: He is best known as the Safekeeper of the Russian Ghost, better known to most as 'The Guardian of the Pavlyuchenko' - which is a mystic supernatural force descended from Russia. The 'Pav' has to be called upon using a secret calling, but can only appear for short periods of time. It's up to the Interpreter to make sure his transition into this world and subsequently into Strike-Force duty is one without difficulties.
Main abilities: The Interpreter is the only known person who is able to communicate with The Pav and is able to provide direct instructions to him, based on Mr Triffic's requirements.
Other strengths: The Pav himself is a mysterious entity, one that can be vital in situations that warrant desperate measures. But because of the fragile nature of his existence it's also deemed to be a risk to summon his presence in the midst of battle as its impossible to predict the impact he will have. The Pav is isolated and alone most times and has a somewhat apologetic nature as he struggles to adapt to this world, preferring the comfort of his true home, but at times does show glimpses of what he could do if he was permanently pulled from the netherworld into this one.
Footnote: The Interpreter and Mr Triffic have unresolved issues and the relationship is strained meaning that The Pavs influence on the Strike-Force is growing weaker with each passing day. So much so that nobody is quite sure whether his presence, when called upon, would be detrimental to the team.
Quote: "No comment" (Interpreter)
"Its time, to quote the vernacular, to Rock and Roll" (The Pav - translated from Russian)
Notable aliases: The Robot, Rodney, The Tall One, Freak Boy.
Team responsibility: Plan B. Causes an altogether different type of problem by being difficult to defend against thanks to his unorthodox attacking flair which is disguised by his awkward stance.
Main abilities: Genetically altered human, part-man part-robot. The only part-machine member of the strike-force gives him an advantage over others during air attacks thanks to his height. Used routinely as a target/point man in emergency attack formations.
Other strengths: Can momentarily fly and guide missiles on target with devastating yet sublime precision. The robotic part of his brain is capable of stupendous mathematical calculations and processing power that he not only uses during his offensive duties but also socially, as he endeavours to 'fit into' a world where tall people with imbedded CPU's are dismissed as freaks. Peter was able to run a complex social discourse algorithm which covered off every possible question/answer scenario for a one-on-one discussion allowing for best possible selection to achieve the maximum success (with an estimated 0.0000000001% chance of failure) when attempting to find a female for mating purposes. He pulled Abbey Clancy on his very first calculation attempt. The algorithm rules.
Footnote: Great touch for a robot.
Welcome to the future…Lilywhites.