100% Nailed on and done and dusted

We all love reading through message boards and finding snippets relating to possible transfer deals from the cryptic people who are in the know or have deep throat connections to the club. So it brings me much pleasure to share with you some exclusive extracts from the soon to be published book 'Diary of a ITK'.

 

Day twenty-three

Still in bed. Can't confirm for sure. Bed sheets not covering me so might get up shortly. 80% chance of shower. But it's touch and go with breakfast. This is the bottom line and we just have to wait and see what happens.

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Ok for all you doubters. I got up. Don't expect an announcement until later whether I'm still going ahead with the shower. Might wash my teeth. Mouthwash a real possibility.

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My sources say it's happening. This is nailed on. Sausage toasted sandwich. Can confirm its HP and I'll be eating this whilst reading the morning paper.

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Walking down the high street towards the bus stop. Just saw Tom Huddlestone in Burger King.

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Currently at bus stop waiting for a bus. Cant say anymore at the moment. Confident of getting on the bus as it's better than walking. Taxi is well down the pecking order as its too expensive.

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There's a girl on the bus and she's looked over at me a couple of times. Don't ask me how or why or where it came from. Let's just see what happens.

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She's still staring. I would love to talk to her but it aint that simple. I can't go into things but its complicated so will need a little longer to assess. Hopefully she'll be here tomorrow. I expect this to play out a little longer.

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Here comes the bus. Hope it stops so I can get on. There's a real chance of this happening.

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Just spoke to my friend on my mobile and he knows someone and have been told the girl at the bus stop likes me but would expect a dinner date rather than a trip to the cinema. He's a pretty crediable source but what often happens is - the blind date is 100% lined-up and agreed and then either she or her mates pull the plug which is why these things sometimes don't work out. Always a better deal elsewhere.

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Got off at my destination. Just need to do a little bit more walking. Confident this will happen. Otherwise will stand motionless.

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I'm now at The Lodge. Weather is overcast. Might rain. Might not. Don't shoot the messenger.

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Spurs players are training. There appears to be some activity in the car park. I need a closer look. Will climb that tree over there to get a closer look.

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Hanging from branch. Can't see a sodding thing from here.

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It's a bit nippy out.
Just seen a plumber arrive at the Lodge. I fancy a cup of tea and a bit of Football Manager 2009. Will start making my way back home now. Should be done and dusted in the next hour.

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Later that evening, posted in a Tottenham message board:

CRUISE HAVING MEDICAL AT LODGE DEAL ALMOST DONE SIGNED SEALED AND DEILVERRED 65% DONE EXPECT CONFERENCE TOMORROW OR MAYBE DAY AFTER IF IT DOESN’T HAPEN PERSNAL TERMS THE ISSUE

 


The diary will be available from all good book shops in June. Maybe July. Possibly August. Cost? £4.99 but might rise to £7.98.