Hot Spurts

 

Dele

News in that FIFA have opened disciplinary proceedings over Dele Alli and his infamous single finger salute. The disgraced Spurs shadow striker is on course for a ban which should no doubt bring mass celebrations to the Daily Mail readership. Throw the book at him I say! The little over-rated wannabe gangster twit. And remember, FIFA, any racism from those pesky European clubs, just fine them 10k and slowly back away. Get this nonsnse out of the way and refocus on Qatar. 

Seriously though, ban him from international games. I don't mind. I really don't. 

Poch is magic

Some absolute gems from our gaffer this week stating that Mr Bean should be censored if Dele is punished for his moment of banter. He also cited his behaviour as fantastic. But the best was left for Serge Aurier and his past, remarking, "I said to him, I would kill you. I would headbutt him" in reference to his previous 'antics' at PSG. Glorious. Pochettino is a class above in press conferences. Always measured (broken English and translation included) and completely PR focused. Takes the pressure off the players and sticks it all on him with friendly subtle soundbites. Wish he was my dad (apologises to my real dad).

NFL

Tottenham yesterday announced that SCX will supply a world-first dividing retractable pitch for the new stadium. Cue the usual over the top social media reaction. Not interested in American Football? Don't consider this news item worthy of bandwidth? That's a cool story bro. How about just moving onto the next tweet instead of losing your sh*t over it? All this seethe for what will be two NFL games hosted at Spurs in the entirety of the season. Yes, sure, I accept over time we might end up hosting a UK based Gridiron team at the new Lane. But get this...if you don't frequent the stadium on the day then it doesn't exist. You're not there. It never happened and you never experienced it first hand.

Of course, if the cockerel is joined on the roof (if we get one there) by a steroid enhanced cartoon rooster with a machine gun draped in the American flag, then I'll join in with the pitchforks. Until then, Tottenham and chill.

Window slamming early

So the transfer window (from next year) will close before the season starts which means all the Prem clubs will be ready to go from the off - no excuses, right? We always say (it's a little bit of a fallacy in truth) that our early form hurts us by the time we get to the end of the season. So this probably confirms us winning the league next campaign. Joy. Either that or we don't sign anyone. I'm sure twenty thousand other Tottenham supporters have made the same bad joke. What does it all actually mean then?

Not a lot. Everything gets squeezed into the weeks before the opening game. It won't really change a thing. What I haven't wrapped my brain around is if other European leagues will have their deadlines aligned to ours. Probably not, meaning they can still come in and attempt to steal a player away. Or can they? Would a club be stupid enough to let someone go when they can't bring in a replacement?

Don't answer that.

Social Media

Following on from the NFL thing, I should mention why the reaction to it tickled me so much; Fans getting annoyed by stadium news. I think that's it. Unless you go deeper and say it's fans getting annoyed because the football club assume any type of stadium news is important or should provide excitement. Really? It bothers you that much you react with aggression? Supporters are actually feeling aggrieved because 'how dare you share information that has no relevance on what I want from you'. The psychology here is too rich in taste not to take a bite.

What do you actually think the @SpursOfficial account is exactly? The omnipresent spirit of THFC? It's simply a resource of stuff that many people within the club use as a conduit of confirmation via a team of social media nerds seeking to appease the mainstream collective. You're not tapping into the cerebral collective of 135 years of history m8. And what exactly is your point bemoaning this and just about everything else? You want trophies? Sadly getting a new stadium with increased potential for revenue is the only way to make that particular journey is a tad more comfortable. For you I suggest, ketamine and chill.

Double Trouble

So Vinny Janssen looks like he's off to Turkey. Fenerbahce his loan destination. Looks like those minutes I was hoping for him to have will be with another club. It's not a good sign. Obviously. For starters he's going on loan but going abroad is that all too familiar side-ways rejection. Out of sight, out of mind. Get him scoring elsewhere so someone can make a permanent approach. What's tinges this with supreme comedy is that he'll be teaming up with Roberto Soldado. At this point in the paragraph I usually deliver a punchline but imma gonna just stop right here.

Nearly

So apparently Graham Hunter has revealed we came agonisingly close to signing Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Isco from St-Etienne and Malaga respectively back in the day. The reason we didn't was because of Andre Villas-Boas. This is akin to saying that Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton came close to sleeping with me but didn't because it would mean both of them actually having to physically occupy the same space as me in bed. Breaking news...I don't look like Ryan Gosling. 

Hypocrisy

The internet never forgets. One diamond that shines bright relates to Spurs youngsters and the fact that if there's anything at Tottenham that should sit beyond criticism and belittlement - it's them. The kids. Let them be and if they're good enough we have home grown beauty to crow over when they break into the first team. I remember one particular quote that stated it's disingenuous to pick on any of them. So much so that if you saw someone doing just that, you'd probably attack them publicly for their misdemeanour. Either that or over time simply forget about your knight in shining armour stunt and decide there's more money to make from click-baiting and slagging off the very same kids and just about everyone else at the club.

Ooh.

Erik

Lamela is back in training. His rehabilitation is going well. Should be back in October. Numbers (lack of) the reason he's not been included in the Champions League squad. Pragmatically, it makes sense as he'll have to fight his way into the first team set-up. He's been out for some time. I can't even remember his last appearance. 

I wrote something on the Argentine the other day and looking back on it, I feel it was a little harsh. That wasn't my intention. I like him. Even with all the deficiencies and quirks. I don't over-rate him but I also don't dismiss his product when it's executed with a touch of class. I also love how he's become this punching bag for supporters that disagree on just how much admiration you're allowed to dish out towards any given player.

Regardless of whether he's a long term option or not, having him back can only strengthen us. Off the bench or otherwise. Does he trigger you because he plucks his eyebrows? Are you insecure with your own sexuality as you make awkwardly homophobic LGBT digs at him and those that want to see him succeed? Ah bless. Is that a smartphone in your pocket or are you just happy to read me?  

135

Happy Birthday babe. I still remember the 125th night out. Stood in the Park Lane watching us come back against Aston Villa to draw 4-4 in a fittingly ridiculous encounter. I ask for just the single favour this weekend. Less of the unnecessary dramatics against Everton and a solid away win. Ta.