Consuming

 

There is no such thing as being confident for a NLD. It's the only game I absolutely love and absolutely detest in equal measures. A paradoxical mess of a football match. If I could sleep through it and wake up and see that we've won, I'd take it every time. I can never truly enjoy it. A savage ninety minutes. Emotionally draining, the desire to avoid losing no matter what. It doesn't constitute entertainment, having to watch it on television. It's far easier to be there, believing you can influence the action that unravels on the pitch with primal vocals and unparalleled abuse.

Still love it. 

Hate it.

Hope we leave them in a broken mess, half empty stadium with twenty minutes left on the clock.

It's a sign of the times that the unthinkable would probably not hurt us prepare for the games that follow and for them the same unthinkable in their favour would not be a springboard like it's been in the past. Their problems are festering deep and a superficial high will be lost in the unavoidable comedown that follows thanks to their culture of inconsistency.

We're better than them, we all know it. But it's not necessarily enough to guarantee a victory. They do have quality and they can play with zest. Having said that, this isn't Spurs of old. We've not been that team for a long time now. The mindset, the mentality of our players is far more focused and disciplined than the pure passion driven teams of the past.

It's an uneasy feeling, the ominous anticipation, having to listen to experts tell us that Spurs are miles ahead of their enemy. Years of suffering has meant that arrogant confidence isn't a trait we accept with comfort.

Yet, regardless of what's been and what follows, the only thing that matters on the day is what happens on the day. Stature and ambition and form, they lose significance in the cauldron, boiling p*ss and all.

We do need to win regardless of everything and because of everything. For the supporters bravado and for reasons of professional consolidation.

...

Man, I'm feeling it already.

Nervous energy is consuming me. 

'Enjoy' the game. I won't. But I might.