Filler article, keeping up appearances.
Been out of the loop this week so imagine the hilarity when I take a look around and see Arsene Wenger's comments about the unfair transfer of Juan Mata from Chelsea to Manchester United. It's unfair because the two clubs involved with swapping money for a world class talent have already played each other so the rest of us (including Wenger's team) are going to suffer as a consequence thus strengthening Chelsea's title challenge in the process. I sometimes wonder whether football managers mean what they say or simply don't have anything with substance so make up crap so they troll each other. Jose Mourinho citing that Arsenal always seems to get the more comfortable times and dates for fixtures (to aid recovery).
I'm actually beginning to believe that gooners that want Wenger gone might have a point. Arsenal haven't got any worse or any better over the past eight years or so. They've just remained constant and consistent, their success relative (in league positions) depending on how others fair. Not to dismiss any quality they might possess, they simply don't have to excel in order to compete. So if teams under-perform Arsenal do well, if others are playing to their full strength, then Arsenal drop down to competing for 4th/3rd. Lucky for them, they have the charity of the very giving Tottenham Foundation and in particular 'Spurs Wishes' to make their dreams come true. By virtue of a couple of surrenders they've managed to claim the grand prize of CL football, the type that doesn't come tied with ribbon. Arsene, forever the paragon of truth and class. Someone get David Dein on the phone and ask him about Beveren.
Chelsea are no better, collecting footballers like Panini stickers, sometimes never unwrapping them from their packet and then later selling them off. Sometimes even buying them back when they've changed their mind. Mohamed Salah is the latest one they've bagged. Liverpool will be gutted considering they discovered the player when he was just a foetus and scouted his progression ever since. Damn you Chelsea, you baby snatching bastards. Could you have not at the very least allowed him to fly over and have a medical at Anfield first? So inconsiderate.
Talking of buying players, remember how great the summer felt when every time you blinked Spurs announced a new signing? Hold onto that memory because nothing has / is happening this window. It's been so low key that even the want-away players are now struggling to escape their nightmare at the Lane via the journalistic narrative that is spewing the same story every day. It's got so lazy they're even using the same headline about Napoli's final offer on the table for Capoue, momentarily jazzing it up by saying the Italian club want Vertonghen. Oh look, Hulk has been spotted at Luton airport. OMG HE MIGHT SIGN FOR US!
Baldini is in Italy (cue last day deadline day dramatics as Levy will only sanction a value for money deal). With Defoe on his way to conquering Canadian porn-stars are we about to welcome a cheapish emergency back up striker? I can't even muster up a pretence of enthusiasm. Let's be honest, after the £100M, everything that follows will be anti-climatic. Tottenham are like the supermodel girlfriend that teases you into bed, strips you naked then tells you she has a headache.
There's more movement in the underpants of a eunuch.
Tim Sherwood had comments taken out of context which led to plenty of traffic hits and then had his comments pulled back into context which resulted with more traffic hits. A British core of quality became simply a core of quality. Tim stating he wants only the best for Spurs when looking at prospective signings. Well thank the lord for that. For a moment I thought he'd suggest we should only aim for mediocre players or ones that don't fit his system and philosophy. Like the ones we signed at the start of the season.
[andrew dice clay] Ohhhhhh! [/andrew dice clay]
Whatever next? He wants humans with functional body parts allowing them to display close control and athletic ability whilst wearing studded boots with accompanying Dr Beats headphones?
Vertonghen, Sandro, Kaboul and Paulinho are all back in training (having all played a part against West Ham in a friendly). Lamela and Townsend still on the sidelines. Nice little test for Sherwood on the way, under the lights against Manchester they thrashed us 6-0 City. More so (under pressure) if he has this wealth of depth to select from for the first time. Bentaleb to be benched? One upfront or two? Five in midfield to fight for possession?
Does it matter? It does, but predicting it? Who cares about the selection. Honestly, hand on heart. We always end thinking the selection in our head is better equipped than the one the coach has chosen. If we lose, it's proof he was wrong, if we win we mentally erase our pre-match preaching. Let's at the very least only lose 5-0. That'll be on par with Redknapp and therefore beyond criticism.
The FA Cup weekend here. It's a depressing state of affairs not being involved. The only positive being that this is the most extended period of time that Sherwood has had to prepare for the next match. So we might see less cloud masking his philosophy in the up and coming fixtures. Oh go on then, here's my line up for City:
Goal - man in shorts, back four - men in shorts, central mid men in shorts, on up front, man in shorts.
Come on you highly paid individuals that I'll decide after the result whether you're deserving of my applause army!
The only other remaining story of note to mention is a smiling Ossie in a hospital bed with Ricky sat next to him. Glad he's alright, the little legend.
It's my birthday weekend so my priority is to descend into rum-fuelled insanity (fall asleep on the sofa), party with an escort girl (tune into Babestation) and then drop out and into another dimension inhaling some DMT (listen to Joe Rogan talk about DMT).