Mouti-nooooooooooooooooooooo

There will be no João Moutinho transfer saga. How close did we get to signing him in the last summer window? Probably not very close. Technicalities cited, third party ownership the bane of most of the protracted dramas we're involved in these days. When Porto bought back the stumbling block that was the third party ownership we never quite appeared to be back in there again to graft our way towards a better conclusion once the season ended.

Maybe we did try. Would not have mattered much. Porto's sights had moved onto a slightly bigger potential for a war chest post-sale.

He's finally moved to AS Monaco in a deal that has cost the French club 70M € which includes his team-mate James Rodriguez - 45M for James, 25M for João. Now don't go stamping your feet with frustration and anger. I know what you're thinking...25M € is hardly beyond our means if you believe we bid almost the equivalent in Sterling ourselves back in the summer. But alas, this is simply an illusion for the benefit of Porto doing their utmost to avoid writing a big cheque for Sporting Lisbon who have the right to 25% of Moutinho transfer fee. So I was told by the Internet.

It would appear Porto's chairman Pinto da Costa has similar mad skills of negotiation not too dissimilar to our own king pin. The thousands that go to watch Monaco will be licking their lips. All six thousand of them.

Porto have done it again. More monies. Why sell him to anyone else (including us) if they can make '70M' from the one deal?

Monaco themselves are also looking at adding Falcao to their squad.

Not sure that rainy cold massive tax taking England can quite compete with the glamour on offer. And the money. Oh yeah, and Champions League. Because that's what it's all about. 

As for our next midfield target to replace this massive hole in the summer media coverage? Let's wait for someone to make up something before we latch onto it and get all excited for the next 11 or so weeks before crying ourselves to sleep when Levy Time fails to materialise because there's no such thing as Levy Time...MAN UP FFS.

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Tottenham we're in the Bahamas. End of season friendly against Jamaica. I literally know nothing about this game aside from the fact it finished 0-0. A no score-draw? Shouldn't be that surprised. You're in the Bahamas. You're hardly going to want to pick yourself up from the sun bed. The only effort likely to be exerted is reaching out to grab a drink or have one passed onto you. A case of Push and Rum.

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Andros Townsend has been charged by the FA relating to alleged betting offences. He has withdrawn from England's U21 squad (for the Euros).

"Townsend will receive the full support of the FA and Tottenham in seeking rehabilitation while responding to the allegations" - The FA

Honestly, I don't have anything profound or reflective to share on this. Aside from the fact that when I hear or see someone else talking about this, all I can think is '...Are we gonna have to spend money on a winger now to cover the flanks?'

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Marcel Desailly urges Gareth Bale to leave Tottenham Hotspur and join a club with a 'culture of victory'. You heard him Gareth. Don't attempt to be hipster and display loyalty because loyalty doesn't pay 200k per week. Trying to achieve something pure and tangible at a club that nurtured and developed you should be treated with disdain. We're holding you back son. There is no point trying to weave yourself into the very fabric of Tottenham and its tapestry of progression - this is simply fantastical. Just leave and make the ready made clubs stronger and let the lowly contenders turn back into pretenders. You're 23 years old, you haven't got long left to fulfil all your dreams. HURRY UP AND LEAVE NOW BEFORE THE DOOR SHUTS ON YOU FOREVER.

What's that? Luis Suarez? No media coverage brokering him to a move away to a 'big club'?. That's because he's already at a club with a culture of victory. Just ask Brendan Rodgers. Victory, possession stats. Same difference.