Jamie semi dream is pathetically limp

I know that commentating on something that doesn't deserve to be highlighted and discussed brings it further undue attention. But that hasn't stopped me before so I'll just come out and say what I have to say.

Tabloid soap opera non-stories. Ho hum.

I do giggle at those pesky tabloids. Who doesn't, right? And I hate as much as I laugh how they take something insignificant and practically craft it out of boredom and pretence into something almost tangible (because it gets repeated so many times it becomes a form of truth) and then proceed to drag it out like an Eastenders plot line, with no end in sight. In fact in this case, it was birthed from complete bullshit but got spoken about so often that Harry Redknapp has actually taken time out to comment on it (though he does work for the same newspaper that is spouting the latest episode in this weak weak drama). And our Harry never misses a trick to get a couple of extra words in. Bless him.

What am I banging on about exactly?

I am of course talking about the ridiculous coverage concerning Jamie O'Hara and how we've ruined any chance of him ever getting special dispensation to play against his parent club in the FA Cup semi-final for his loan family Portsmouth.

O'Hara, on loan, to play against Spurs in a Cup semi-final?

There's more chance of Dirty Den digging himself out of his encased concrete grave in the Queen Vic cellar and running naked around Albert Square bone naked sucking his finger and winking seductively at Mo Harris, who in-turn lifts up her skirt (she wears skirts in this demented fantasy) and reveals her crotchless panties to which Den nods back approvingly.

In case there is still some lingering doubt: THE FA RULE BOOK WOULD NEVER ALLOW IT.

That's Jamie O'Hara playing against Spurs. Not the Dirty Den thing. Not sure the FA would have an opinion on the latter, although if Pompey wanted to dress up the bones of Den Watts in their colours and play him in central midfield, they'd do good to do so. The poor bastards are struggling. And he would give then more options in the middle than Kevin Prince Boateng, IMO.

     'Mo Harris, you turn me on'

See the main gripe/annoyance I have is that some hack who was rubbing his hands together at the prospect of Fulham upsetting Spurs, thus allowing JOH to play at Wembley, was duly gutted when we stormed from behind to claim a win at the Lane. Jamie's tweets a week or two earlier where he suggested he wouldn't mind seeing us get knocked out was the required ammo (along with Pompeys plight) for this said hack to print a story (because that's what it was) that contained no quotes about how Grant would ask Harry for permission for Jamie to play against us.

I mean seriously, come on. Get me a web-cam quickly because I'm sucking my finger over here. My index finger. And it's directed towards Wapping with much intent. This 'story' has persistently and systemically been regurgitated in the press and in blogs and yes yes, re-read the opening sentence to this article, I'm fully aware of the irony but like I mentioned earlier, I just have to get it out. My grievance with it, not anything else, and definitely not anything on-line, on cam. Although I'm game for anything on a Friday night.

So when I hear Harry has commented how it wouldn't be possible, not because of the FA rules which he doesn't mention (I mean seriously, imagine if Jamie scored a genuine own goal in the game) but because it wouldn't be ethical, giving the impression that the decision made was a moral one decided outside any governing body code of conduct.

And as for The Sun, stating 'Harry Redknapp has destroyed Jamie O'Hara's Wembley Dream', please dry them.

You can't destroy something that has never existed.

It will just be my (our) luck to lose at Wembley and then have to read O'Hara's tweets about how he's getting his suit measured and the tabloids running accompanying follow-up exclusives about how Jamie won through in the end.

If we beat them, no doubt Jamie will eat a hamster, the attention seeking twit.