English Football Chief Claims “Pro Evo Better than FIFA”

With the World Cup draw fiasco still rumbling on, FA Chief Executive Ian Watmore has today admitted that he supports the plan for England to break away from FIFA and make a bid to host the 2018 Pro Evo World Cup.

Speaking from his Wembley office, Watmore said, “I’ve always been a big fan of FIFA but this year they’ve really lost it. The goal posts keep moving, there are far too many obvious glitches and most of the files are corrupt. For 2018 we will be boycotting the FIFA tournament completely and are in the process of submitting our bid to Pro Evo.”

Frank Lowy, Australia 2022’s bid chief also added his support, “A Pro Evo World Cup might not be as realistic or look as good but it would be a lot more fun and, unlike the last world cup, a lot easier for teams to score.”

One major stumbling block could be FIFA’s rights to all the team and players names. However, FA chiefs have already set the wheels in motion to avoid potential copyright lawsuits.

England will change their name with immediate effect to ‘South East Britain’ and all players will have to swap out at least two consonants and a vowel from their surnames.

England wing wizard Theo Pilcort commented, “Obviously it’s been hard having to change our names. We’ve all had to have a good look on google to find out what a consonant was for a start. But I think this a good move and all the lads are looking forward to testing ourselves against the top teams in world football like Rhineland,  Amazon Forest and (last year’s winners) Greater Iberia.”

Skipper Rio Turdigland added on Twitter, “@rioturdy5 nuff respect to da FA on dis one tweeps. Pro Evo is baaaaare better than FIFA lmfao.”

When asked what he made of England’s decision, FIFA president Sepp Blatter clasped his hands over his ears and declared, “laaaaaa laa laaaaa laaaaa laaaaaaaaaaaaaa I can’t hear you laaaa laa laaaaa.”



 

by guest blogger Fox Mulder.