"What do you both want to drink?" Asks the ref.
"I'll have a pint", says one of the players. "Make mine a rum", says the other.
The ref then sneezes a 'Dummy's Guide to understanding Java' out of his nose and Deirdre from Coronation Street wakes up from her dream explaining the fundamentals of dark matter in spoken Hebrew to the badger with the head like a golf ball. He laughs and the squirrels feast on the dead carcass of themselves from the future. North Korea then star-jumps with a knowing nod and remarks 'Καλά Χριστούγεννα'.
Confused? Was that joke a little on the random side? Inexplicable and surreal? I personally thought it made far more sense than some of the decisions I witnessed during Saturdays 2-1 defeat to Blackburn Rovers.
In particular, the foul on Palacios.
No matter how many times I watch it, all I see is Aaron Mokoena shoulder-charging Wilson Palacios face. Even looks like he shapes up to hit him as he runs towards our midfield powerhouse. Surely a red card ref, no? The right honourable Mr Walton didn't see it as such, but no surprise there considering what he did and didn't see through-out the afternoon. Whether it was the penalty he gave to us, the one he didn't give to Rovers or the second yellow to Palacios.
Allardyce (if you happen to notice) subbed the defender almost immediately after Mokoena flattened Wilson. Hmm...I wonder why.
Nothing has been said about this since (from what I've seen). And not a lot was made of it at the time either. Wilson (eventually) got up and got on with it. No damage done. I can't remember Andy Gray having kittens about it either. Mountain out of a mole hill then? Maybe I'm being too protective of a player in Lilywhite.
Or perhaps it does not require a re-visit based on the fact that Wilson does not wear the colours of Man Utd/Liverpool/Chelsea/Arsenal thus deeming the incident a non-event and a simple case of over-exuberance and Wilson's face getting in the way of very legal player-to-player contact.
The irony of later on having to watch Palacios get red-carded for basically attempting to avoid physicality with Dunn (and avoid a certain card) and thus falling to the ground and still receiving a card is completely and utterly lost on me. With Johnson of Pompey sent off for running in one of the other Saturday games, it's like some kind of weird experiment in anti-football where refs are following directives set by David Lynch.
Respect the referee? Sure I will. But only after the backwards talking midget in the room with the red drapes tells me to.