Spurs, black helicopters and men in black - The Truth is out there...

Half-time at Old Trafford

Disguised Voice: Don't leave this game alone, Agent Webb.

Webb: What?

Disguised Voice: They will not tolerate a buck to the trend.

Webb: Who are you?

Disguised Voice: I, er, can be of help to you. I've had a certain interest in your work.

Webb: How do you know about my work?

Disguised Voice: Well, let's just say that I'm in a position to know quite a lot of things, er, things about our game.

Webb: Who are you? Who do you work for?

Disguised Voice: It's unimportant; I came here to give you some valuable advice. You are exposing yourself and your fellow professionals to unnecessary risk, I advise you to change the game.

Webb: I can't do that.

Disguised Voice: You have much work to do, Agent Webb, don't jeopardise the future of your own efforts.

--

Post-match in the away dressing room

Bond: Would you explain to me what's going on.

Redknapp: I think they re-wired Webb's brain. Some kind of selective memory drain.

Bond: The brain doesn't work like that, Harry. You can't just go in and erase certain files.

Redknapp: Then you explain it to me.

Bond: There's a  type of Narcolepsy th..

Redknapp: This is not Narcolepsy, I think it's something far more deliberate and insidious.

Bond: All I'm saying, is that the science or medical technology to do what you are suggesting, does not exist.

Redknapp: And neither does the technology to re-watch the type of controversy we saw yesterday.

--

In the aftermath of the game

DEEP THROAT: Your life may be in danger.

Harry: Why?

DEEP THROAT: Mmm, you've seen things that weren't to be seen. Care and discretion, are now imperative.

Harry: I saw something I...

DEEP THROAT: As I said, I can provide you with information, but only so long as it's in my best interest to do so.

Harry: What is your interest?

DEEP THROAT: The truth.

Harry: I did see something, but it's gone, they took it from me, they erased it. You have to tell me what it was.

DEEP THROAT: Three points? Mr. Redknapp, why are those like yourself, who believe in the existence of a Premier League illuminati in this country, not dissuaded by all the evidence to the contrary?

Redknapp: Because, all the evidence to the contrary, is not entirely dissuasive.

DEEP THROAT: Precisely.

Redknapp: They're here, aren't they?

DEEP THROAT: Mr. Redknapp, they've been here for a long long time.

Redknapp: Triffic.


Re-worked from the X-Files episode 'Deep Throat (1x01) written by Chris Carter - from the excellent transcript from the Generation Terrorists site.