You pulling my Johnson?

I'm conflicted. When there are moments of nothingness between Spurs games I'd prefer not to write up something contrived just for the sake of it and rant on about what the tabloids consider to be news worthy adding unwarranted weight to something that is nothing more than a dirty feather.

If I go ahead and do so, I feel guilty for jumping onto the bandwagon. Other bloggers, might not have a crisis of the soul, and not think twice about commenting and so it snowballs and then everyone is discussing it, making it almost tangible. But then like a cancer - it spreads, relentless and unforgiving. Even though most know there is nothing there. A phantom. Its no cancer. Its not even a common cold. Its nothing more than hot air. But acknowledging its existence is easier than simply ignoring it. It's an instinctive reaction, and one that annoys me.

 

Johnson, 2 years ago v Sunderland


And here I am. About to contradict myself and do the exact thing I keep promising not to. Irony only has to pull her skirt slowly upwards ever so slightly to reveal a little bit more of that delicious thigh and I'm once more seduced.

I've not been paying attention and I can't claim to know what order the following skipped into the public domain in, but in the past week we've had:

- Jamie O'Hara may or may not stay at Pompey (direct Harry quote)
- Sandro has been re-linked (looks like the same story from the last transfer window)
- Spurs lack midfield depth ('We've only got Wilson, JJ and Huddlestone' confirms Harry)

And using the tabloid formula of conclusion, this equates to us being in the market for a new addition. So naturally, the next Spurs transfer story has to be related to a centre midfielder. No shock there.

But I guess I shouldn't frown too much about selling out and talking about it. The damage has already been done. It's multiplying itself across News Now as we speak like demented Gremlins birthed from a wet sorry mogwai.

Michael Johnson is apparently a £6M target for Tottenham which will aid us in our quest for central midfield depth. You remember Michael Johnson, right? He's this weeks nomination for a move to White Hart Lane (I'm surprised nobody has suggested Davids yet).

Johnson has returned from a long period on the sidelines. Very long period. Apparently suffering from an 'abdominal injury' which he comforted by growing fat. You'll note most photos being used in the sports related articles are of a baby-faced Johnson from around two seasons ago. Which is nice of them.

Two years on the sidelines and this could be you

 

It’s been so long since I last saw Johnson play that I can't even remember what type of player he is. I'm going to go with 'midfielder with a bit of eveything'. If a City fan is reading this, please go ahead and correct me.

I do remember he was useful but other than being cited as the next big thing I don't recall much more. Other than people telling me he was useful. What I do know is that at Man City there are several players ahead of him fighting for first team action. And this is a fact that isn't lost on the journos either because it allows them to include a hook in their story. A possibility for interest because the lad is 'arguably' available based on him requiring games to regain fitness and will struggle to get into the team at Eastlands. If he was more than decent two years ago and if he gets fit and has no more 'abdominal' problems most wouldn't say not to him signing. For £2M - £3M. But abdominal problems are a curious type. So knock off another £1M and then Harry might take a geniune look.

Another fact is that he's only played one minute of Prem football since his 'return'. That must have been some minute for us to be pencilling in a £6M move. I know what. Forget the discounted suggestion above, and let's wait until he completes two minutes and bid £12M and then round it off to £15M to guarantee nobody gazumps us.

Regardless of the reason(s) for his time away (I don't need to paint a picture) if the lad has talent it might re-emerge. It might not. One thing is for certain, we won't be paying £6M to find out.

And as for the regurgitated Sandro transfer stories, according to press reports we are back in for him and should be signing him cometh the Jan window. And the source? Other press reports. Yes. We have a press report that repeats information from another press report that is then copied for another press report. Let's get it done before Barca or Real swoop in to steal him away from our Brazilian partners, Internacional.

I'll stop there before I start posting pictures of a monged out Crouch and Woodgate looking like extras from a zombie movie with the title 'caption competition' or a damning editorial about the misbehaving dos Santos out with his family. The heathen.

And there we go. I just couldn't ignore the headlines and just had to waste my time and yours with contrived commentary that lacked insight. I'm once more part of the system. A fully fledged disciple of disdain. Please accept my unequivocal apology for my moment of weakness and rejoice with me that we are now closer to the weekend and the visit of Stoke.